No, this is not a Guard the Borders post about illegal aliens crossing our borders and living in our midst, sucking the life from a rule of law. This is about something else.
I was just a young lad when the reality that most folks who crawl behind the wheel of a car seem to crawl back, mentally, into the primordial ooze and begin evidencing the intelligence of single-celled organisms. That’s when our next-door neighbor decided to turn around in her seat to remostrate with a child while she was driving, assuring that her only real accomplishment would not be correcting her child but putting me in the hospital for more than a month (with more hospital stays later for other painful and frightening operations and procedures) by propelling me off my bicycle at a large fraction of her vehicle’s speed when she drove off the road…
While laying there in hospital, I was propelled during long nights of intimate aquaintance with pain… and those delightful pain meds, to begin an earlier than would probably have been normal foray into abstract thought. Particularly, I sent a lot of time thinking about death and what might come after.
Now, for a young boy, that might seem a little out of place, but pain was a frequent reminder—along with all those oh-so-helpful visitors—of Death’s kiss on my cheek. And so I thought of eternity, and eternity of nothingness or an eternity of life in heaven as promised by my church.
Neither were particularly comforting stacked up against the idea of forever.
I’d like to think that those days and weeks spent contemplating death and life, foreverness or nothingness propelled me into becoming a “deep thinker” but that’s not the case. All that experience did teach me is that this life I now live is going to end. What comes after is an eternity of something, and whatever that something is, it will be profoundly other than this life now.
And that the end of this life I now live is inevitable.
So, while I can be frightened in the sense of being startled or being threatened with harm, being frightened of death itself has become, over all the years since contemplating the discomforting nature of eternity, not such a big deal.
And maybe that makes me an alien of sorts among most folk.