Day: June 2, 2005

Reach out to a “recovering Star Wars addict” 🙂

Headlines from 2006 (a Precision Guided Humor Assignment from The Alliance of Free Blogs)

Jean Fraud sKerry Booted from Senate Boys’ Club
Senator caught “cheating at solitaire” on the Senate floor: “We’ve endured a lot, but this sort of public self-abuse is just too much even for me,” said newly-elected Senate Minority leader Jerry Springer…

Paris Hilton’s Brain Found!
Gardener discovers shrink-wrapped box in gardening shed: DNA tests reveals it to be the long lost brain of Paris Hilton…

Hillary Clintoon Implodes!
Thursday, the black hole that was her soul finally sucked the Wicked Witch of the East into the Wormhole to Hell…

Intelligent Life Discovered in Washington D.C.
Deep within the bowels of the sewers under Capitol Hill, scientists have discovered a life form alien to that most political of climes: intelligent life. For now, scientists must study the creatures in the sewers where they are currently living. They refuse to come out into the light of day until the toxic waste dump overhead is cleared. “I’d rather drink sewer water than breathe the stench that issues from congresscritters’ mouths,” quoth Thhbbbbbtttttt!!!, the apparent leader of the autochthons. The stalemate between Congress, which refuses to clear out of Washington, and the sewer dwellers, whose claim to the land predates that of Congress, seems destined to continue as Senate Democrats filibuster…

Giant Earthquake Shakes Mideast: Mecca becomes a sinkhole
Splodeydope Islamic terrorists claim it is a “Zionist–American attack” and announce a mass suicide bombing (Tuesday, next, the Prophet’s Mosque: Medina, Saudi Arabia. Limited space available. BYOB.) while scientists say “Thhbbbbbtttttt!!!”

Real men eat what they want—including quiche

Quiche-ing my way? Fine, then make it quick and easy. Done.

Get your stuff together:

• 3–4 eggs (depends on size of eggs; adjust to suit yourself)
• 1 cup milk
• 1 deep dish pre-made-in-a-cheap-aluminum-pan pie crust (I said “quick and easy”)
• 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1Tbs oil (I prefer olive oil)
• 3/4 cup crumbled bacon

Make the thing:

• Preheat the oven to 350°F
• Mix the milk and eggs and set the mixture aside.
• Chop the onion and place it in a microwave-safe glass bowl with the olive oil stirred in.
• Microwave on high for a 1 to 1.5 minutes—check and modify up or down for your microwave. When the onions are clear, they’re done.
• Put the onions in the bottom of the deep-dish premade pie crust
• Add cheese and bacon alternatively until the pie pan’s full
• Pour the egg/milk mixture over the cheese
• Bake for 40-45 minutes or until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean.

Let it sit for a few minutes, then serve.

You can vary this infinitely. Other meats (ham, sausages, etc.), add veggies (frozen peas, broccoli, spinach, etc.). But with the elimination of the messiest and most time-wasting part (the pie crust) from prep, this is a fast food recipe.

Oh, and while you’re here, kick off the loafers (no, your shoes, not the guys on the front porch), wander around, cop some snacks from the fridge or pantry and generally feel free to make a mess. You’re sure to find something here at third world county to annoy the socks off you. Have at it!

[Note: for a number of reasons not stated here, this has undergone numerous re-writes to excise most of the foaming-at-the-mouth anger the ACLU inspires in me. I’ll try to ennumerate more specific examples another time.]

Yes, the ACLU has done some good. But then, so did Stalin.

Let me get this out of the way first: Stalin did do some good for his country. Notably, he nearly doubled industrial production during a worldwide economic collapse. Of course, he also killed about 20,000,000 people during the some time, so, on balance, maybe Uncle Joe wasn’t do great after all…

Yes, the ACLU has done some good things. Name two? Oh. My. Let’s see, it’s been around for 85 years, now. So it’s actually done a couple more than two good things. Brown v Board of Education springs to mind. And believe it or not, I think the Skokie case where the ACLU defended a bunch of idiots who wanted to put on a Nazi demonstration was a good thing (on a number of levels), because even hated-filled idiots have a right to political or religious free speech. Various local or state chapters have also defended students who were being persecuted by the State for practicing their religious beliefs in school. It defended their right to pray silently and to freely assemble (if they didn’t cause a fuss, that is).

And that’s about it, folks.

What’s on the other side of the equation? Hitting only the high spots:

The ACLU’s stated agenda is (duh) to protect and defend the civil rights of individuals. To that end, it has (erroneously, IMO) focused and limted itself pretty much to defending against what it claims are violations of this amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Leaving aside the fact that the Framers saw the Second Amendment as the primary means of assuring the protection of the First Amendment, let’s just see how well the ACLU has done “protecting” the rights mentioned in the First Amendment:

The ACLU has persecuted nearly all religious expressions or displays in the public forum—if they are Christian or Jewish. What? Has the ACLU no understanding of the words, “free exercise”? Sure, it’ll defend the rights of students to pray silently while in school, but let ’em open their mouths… Katie bar the door! And this completely sidesteps the issue of whether adults in the schools have any religious freedoms supposedly guaranteed by the First Amendment (see the Orwellian “ACLU of VA Urges School Officials to Drop Plans For ‘Moment of Silence’…”, a bizarre school prayer case with convoluted ACLU-speak here, and this pdf of a letter threatening a school superintendant to knock off the non-sectarian prayers at school graduations).

Of course, as regards religious expression and practice, as well as free political speech, as specifically noted in the Amendment, the ACLU has deftly redefined the First Amendment to mean many things the words of the Amendment do not… But that’s another topic.

Nativities, religious symbols on public buildings, etc., all under attack by the ACLU… if they are Christian or Jewish.

Bleh.

How’s the ACLU doing on other fronts? Oh, you mean besides championing the injection of a “penumbra of privacy” that now protects a mother who wants to kill her baby? Hmmm… how about the obvious extension: a “penumbra of privacy” for splodeydope terrorists (“It’s their body! They can do what they want to with it!”) or satanist human sacrifice? (Hey! a hat trick: freedom of non-christian religious practice, “artistic” expression–especially if filmed, cos then it could be “press-related”… Abadon’s Cruel and Licentious ?bermensch?)

Ahhh… the list is too long and all too easily begging for reductio ad absurdum argument. Yeh, normally that’d be indulging in fallacious contructions, but the ACLU has by now slipped so far down the slippery slope of its own reduction to absurdity that every attack upon freedom from its quarter just begs for ridicule.

Worst recent examples of the Antiamerican Criminal License Union behavior? Try this pdf of an ACLU statement in support of Lynne Stewart—yeh, the lawyer convicted of aiding and abetting terrorists. Or this award presented by the ACLU to CAIR. “CAIR-OHIO To Recieve ACLU Liberty’s Flame Award.” What? For supporting and advancing wahabbist wacko splodeydope desires to go up in flames (as long as they can take civilian non-combatants with them)?

ACLU: an introduction to Dr. Tarr and Mr. Fether seems appropriate.

ACLU? Just Say NO.

Crossposted at America’s Third World County at Protest the ACLU.