Everybody’s doin’ it, doin’ it, doin’ it…

…pickin’ their nose and reviewing the Da Vinci Code… or sleeeping through the movie or whatever.

How does Dan Brown even get published? Are editors also becoming an ever more subliterate class?

I haven’t read the book or seen the movie, but not for the reasons the “usual suspects” seem to have. I have read two books by Dan Brown. One because it was recommended to me by a friend. (I’ll never take another recommendation by him at face value.) The second because I thought, “The guy can’t be THAT bad a writer–musta been an ‘off’ book.”

No, Dan Brown can’t write worth a damn. Stick figure sterotypes for characters. Basic “facts” on which his stories turned were square away wrong or just plain stupidly assbackwards. Descriptive narrative was sloppy. Dialogue predictable and still unnatural.

I just don’t get how this guy sells books. He misses out on writing truly “Suckitudinous Fiction” only by being a crappy writer who can’t even write a decent story, IMO.

If his characters were believable; if he got his basic facts right; if his narratives were interesting or even credible, then he’d at least be an average writer. But it’s like he doesn’t need to develop the chops to write well, cos he has an audience of folks who haven’t had much exposure to good storytelling.

I just figured that if he got the facts so screwed up in earlier book (Digital Fortress is a real hoot, for example–his ideas about computers are just plain stupid–and he claimed that they were soundly based in fact–I just figured he either didn’t know better or was trying to fake people out) he’d do no better in Da Vinci code.

Reviewers love him, because a.) they don’t care about his claims (repeated in both books I’ve read) that he bases his stories in fact, cos they’re usually too subliterate to know his “facts” are fakes and b.) reviewers are 90% shills for publishers.

I don’t have to read or see the DC to know it’s crap for two reasons:

1.) I’ve (unfortunately–I’ll never have that lost time back) read two other Dan Brown books and
2.) In the case of the Da Vinci Code, well, I’m not only a history buff, I’m more than semi-literate in the historical era and topics he based the story on. And if it grated on my nerves to have hom so screw up the “factual” basis for his other books, where I had just enough knowledge to know he was fulla shit, I’d probably be throwing things at the screen and making loud, derisive comments every time his characters said something stupid.

Fiction, in order to be good fiction, needs some reason for the reader/viewer to suspend disbelief. A credible story line with believable characters, dialog that makes sense, etc. If Digital Fortress and Deception Point lacked those and got published and pushed, how much better could The Da Vinci Code be? Or worse?

I’ll pass, thanks.

Mel at I’m Just a Girl has an interesting take on the naifs who are picketing the Dan Brown movie. *sigh* That’s right, folks: give the dummie free publicity.

Lil update: While reading a column by Orson Scott Card—a guy who does know how to write fiction, and darned well, too—I reas his review of The Eyre Affair, a light novel by Jasper Fforde about a detective named Thursday Next who lives in an alternate universe where literature is taken very seriously.

A very brief sample as quoted by Card in his review:

…when Thursday visits with her uncle, an inventor of fabulously bizarre machines, she asks him:

“Did the memory erasure device work, Uncle?”

“The what?”

“The memory erasure device. You were testing it when I last saw you.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, dear girl.”

*heh*

Well, that’s another book to go on my reading list. 🙂

Beating the air with this post over at Diane’s Stuff

Fair Tax:

[Another guest video. Take notes. The next test will come April 15, 2007. *heh*]

This week we’re fortunate enough to have a professional video produced by the folks at Americans for Fair Taxation. It gives a good overview of taxation in America, grassroots movements (and the FairTax initiative is definitely a grassroots issue!), and some good information about the FairTax and how it works. If you have a friend or family member who is not familiar with the FairTax, just have them watch this video. It’s less than 20 minutes long, and definitely worth your time!

The FairTax Blogburst is jointly produced by Terry of The Right Track Blog and Jonathan of Publius Rendezvous. If you would like to host the weekly postings on your blog, please e-mail Terry or Jonathan. You will be added to our mailing list and blogroll.

OTA Wednesday

Open Trackbacks Alliance Post for Wednesday. Link to this post in one of your own, track back and be listed below.

More posts later today, including Guard the Borders, Fairtax and whatever else strikes me fancy… Arrrggghhh… (‘K, wait; Talk Like a Pirate Day’s later in the year… Oh well.)

🙂

Also note the other fine blogs featuring linkfests at Linkfest Haven.

Linkfest Haven

Tuesday Open Post/Still just semi-blogging

Still catching up. Open trackback post. Link to this post in one of yours you’d like to see listed below and then trackback.

Oh, and thanks for some good reads Monday. I should be back on schedule (both reading and posting) by wednesday, but a coupla days downtime just seemed to come beggin’ for my attention, ya know?

So go ahead and link to this post with some good reading; save me some time, eh? 🙂

Also note the other fine blogs featuring linkfests at Linkfest Haven.

Linkfest Haven

twc drivers

I think I have narrowed down third wourld county driver to three basic classes. While there may—indeed, is—a great variety within the classes, I think my classification system holds up fairly well.

First, there are the folks who for whatever reason—inability to think ahead, lead foot, illiteracy, extreme disregard for the law and the safety of others (let alone themselves) feel compelled to exceed every know speed limit, ignore every traffic light, stop sign and even the presence of other vehicles on the road in their pursuit of that elusive goal: get “there” ahead of the guy in front of them. Any guy in front of them, anywhere down the road.

Then there are the folks who need their own mentally handicapped license plate, cos they are simply the slowest-thinking things on the road with pretentions of humanity. “Can I turn onto this road? I dunno… that car a half a mile away looks to be blazing along at nearly 30 miles and hour. Maybe I should wait til that speed demon whizzes on by. Oh, and what’s that strange honkin’ sound? We get a flight of geese through here? happens evry time I spend a few glorious hours waiting to enter the ‘Slow Boat to Purgatory Lane’.”

And then there are the four drivers who can actually plan ahead so they don’t have to speed, ignore stop signs, etc. and who aren’t slow moving roadblocks.

(You don’t think YOU are one of the four, do you? :-))

Monday Open Post/R&R

Too pooped to pop. Taking a bit of R&R today, This is my monday open trackbacks post. Pick a post of yours you want to feature, include a link to this post and then track back.

Also note the other fine blogs featuring linkfests at Linkfest Haven.

Linkfest Haven

You might be a third world countian if…

You might be a third world countian if…

Your check engine light stops coming on cos it’s burned out (cos the only semi-reliable mechanics not working for The Great Satan’s fleet services are named Jackleg and Shadetree).

Your POTS telephone service dies during “squirrel courting season” cos alla the squirrels are out line dancing. (But then, it is also likely to fail if it rains or even during a heavy fog.. )

911 doesn’t know your address (cos you don’t really have one), but it doesn’t matter, cos the ambulance driver knows a shortcut.

You know the sheriff’s deputy who got a traffic ticket for running a traffic signal in his official vehicle… and the town marshal who gave it to him.

You KNOW that if you drive the 55mph speed limit on some-a the two-lane roads, you’ll top a rise to find a coupla bubbas parked blocking the highway cos they just can’t wait to get to the feed store to share gossip.

…You DON’T stop and shake your head every time you pass the sign for the Pooh Coner Daycare (No, that’s not a typo. I must confess, however, that I do see conehead children covered in pooh in my mind’s eye whenever I pass that sign.. )

Oh, yeh. There’s more… another time, maybe.

(Blogging from Lovely Daughter’s wifi cionnection at her home, where we just shared Sunday lunch. Kinda nice not to have to do cleanup. :-))

Funny… but true.

The satire site, Scrappleface, is one of the best places to go and watch a master prick the ballons of pretentious… pricks. Scott Ott uses light irony and heavy-handed satire, both with equal facility. But a post dated May 19, 2006—Da Vinci Flick Makes Pope Admit Secret Code—exceeds even his usual level of mastery.

‘The Da Vinci Code‘ has finally forced Pope Benedict XVI to release a statement admitting that the Bible contains a “veiled mystery unknown to most of the world.”…

…Under pressure from theologians in the news media, a Vatican spokesman today admitted that the Holy Scriptures contain a hidden code, known only to a relative handful of insiders.

Read the rest to unlock the secret. I’ve tried it, and it actually works!

Wow! Now that’s masterful satire: using a factual “secret code” and its real key in a fictional post to mock a book/film that uses fake “facts” to promote a fake code in a fictional work that the author claims to be essentially true…

That’s gonna leave a mark.

Las Mordidas?

Yesterday, Jerry Pournelle suggested:

“Would it not be cheaper to pay the Mexican government say, $10 billion a year, on the provision that they close the border from their side? If many get through to the US we reduce the bribe.”

I’ve excerpted just a small portion of Dr. Pournelle’s comments, and there are more from his readers in the Mail section of Chaos Manor Musings. But the idea cited above could be a useful tool in reducing the alien invasion from Mexico, I think. “Las Mordidas” is the social lubricant that gets things done there. Only a couple of problems as the proposal was stated:

  1. Remitance monies (also mentioned by you in the same “View” comment) amount to something over $20 billion a year pumped into the Mexican economy, now. Perhaps the first or second largest single element of its economy. The bribe needs to be bigger.
  2. In order to work, the bribe needs to be highly targeted. The “ricos” kakistocracy must be targeted to recieve the money, or it won’t be an effective bribe.

In the long run, would it not be cheaper to simply annex Mexico? Instead of moving the U.S. border to San Francisco-Kansas City-D.C., as Scott Ott at Scrappleface “predicted” the President’s speech would propose, move it south to Guatemala/Belize. Maybe the Texas national Guard could be tasked with that little adventure… *heh* Well, if such a pipe dream ever materialized, it would at least have the virtue of (hopefully) moving the robber barons off that pot of gold the beggars once sat on.

*sigh*

Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s close the back door on all the Muslim extremist groups populating Canada. Annex Canada next? *heh*

Oh, a lil note I’m considering adding to most of my posts as a reminder to call, write, fax and email the administration and your congresscritters, your governor and as many other public officials as you can about the alien invasion (and the fax I suggested a couple of days ago that you send :-)):

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Folks, it is not only your undeniable right to petition the government for a redress of grievances, it is your responsibility to yourself, your children and grandchildren and your fellow citizens to do so whenever OUR unresponsive kakistocracy is steering the ship of state onto the rocks.

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