I think I have narrowed down third wourld county driver to three basic classes. While there may—indeed, is—a great variety within the classes, I think my classification system holds up fairly well.
First, there are the folks who for whatever reason—inability to think ahead, lead foot, illiteracy, extreme disregard for the law and the safety of others (let alone themselves) feel compelled to exceed every know speed limit, ignore every traffic light, stop sign and even the presence of other vehicles on the road in their pursuit of that elusive goal: get “there” ahead of the guy in front of them. Any guy in front of them, anywhere down the road.
Then there are the folks who need their own mentally handicapped license plate, cos they are simply the slowest-thinking things on the road with pretentions of humanity. “Can I turn onto this road? I dunno… that car a half a mile away looks to be blazing along at nearly 30 miles and hour. Maybe I should wait til that speed demon whizzes on by. Oh, and what’s that strange honkin’ sound? We get a flight of geese through here? happens evry time I spend a few glorious hours waiting to enter the ‘Slow Boat to Purgatory Lane’.”
And then there are the four drivers who can actually plan ahead so they don’t have to speed, ignore stop signs, etc. and who aren’t slow moving roadblocks.
(You don’t think YOU are one of the four, do you? :-))
IF I lived there I’d say yes I’m one of the four. You left out idiots on their cell phones. Do they not have cell phones in TWC just yet? 😉
Didn’t so much leave idiots on cell phones outa the classification system. Subsumed them and women putting on makeup, guys loading their shotgun(s)/rifle(s)/handgun(s)/mooning cows, folks racing the sheriff’s deputy to the next red light (we have something like 13 traffic lights in the county now–up 13 from zero eleven years ago), etc., into one of the other two groups.
I’ve found I don’t have to shove real hard to make alla these other kindsa drivers fit the two classifications of doofs…
And yeh, I expect you and Da Fury would fit in with The Class of Four… making it The Gang of Five.
🙂
Yep, I’m one of the four wherever I may be, ‘cept when I’m not. Do the females really “fard” their way to work in TWC? I thought they saved that for high traffic areas..