T-13, 1.46: A Few of My Favorite Things

Feelin’ just a tad curmudgeonly–why! almost (relatively speaking) gay! *heh*–today, so while this list won’t be all “rainbows and roses and whiskers on kittens” it may not be as grumpy and sarcastic as such a list would usually be…

So, just off the top of my head, a few of my favorite things:

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1. I love it when some doofus website designer sets the browser sniffer to tell me my browser won’t work for the site’s content. Ha! I laugh as such oafs! Set my browser to mask itself as the preferred browser for that site and screw the website designer. With a BIG, rusty screw.

2. Microsoft. It provides me with soooo much work via its bloated, buggy insecure-ware. Love it. Love to hate it. It’s a win-win for me. What’s not to like?

3. Zoom-zoom speeders. I love watching them zip by at unsafe speeds, knowing that it’s extremely likely I’ll pass them later at a traffic light (if not at the scene of the smoking wreckage). I frequently cheerfuly (sneeringly) wave as I pass… tootling along at the posted speed.

4. Crisp fall days; mouldy leaves; neighbors burning old sweat socks (well, it smells worse, but I’ve not been able to get the corrupt twc LEOs to bust ’em for meth manufacturing–if that’s what it is): the wonders of fall in America’s Third World Countyâ„¢.

5. Trick-or-treaters. Gives The Boys their fun workout barking their hearts out. Which cues the neighbors’ dogs to join in. Candy for T-or-T-ers? What? I should contribute to the growing epidemic of child obesity and juvenile diabetes? I’m not that cruel. I’ll scare the lil devils, but I won’t kill ’em with sweets. “Here, kid, have a peanut. Don’t hurt yourself cracking it open!”

*heh*

6. Gas prices. Heck, they’re only 10X (well, not even that quite yet) what they were 40 years ago when I was making 1/50 the $$/hour. What with that and my car getting more than twice the mpg that the car I had then was getting, I’m coming out WAY ahead!

7. Telemarketers. I love having someone that society, the law and my conscience gives me free rein to blast to my heart’s content. (Then I report them to our state’s attorney general for further harrassment. Man, I love this stuff!)

8. Stray dogs. Never can get enough target practice. (No, I live ~300 feet within “city” limits, so I don’t take the mayor’s advice and “mistake ’em for coyotes and shoot ’em”–firearm discharge w/in “city” limits is strictly regulated. No, no .30-.40*; I use my slingshot.)

9. Playing with the mess Windows networking makes of the simplest network. Yeh, yeh, this is a subset of #2, but it’s so special I had to give it a separate slot. Compared with SAMBA-enabled Linux boxes, Windows boxes are such a pain in the tuchous to manage that it brings in the $$. (I’m not sadist OR masochist enough to tout folks onto Novell’s networking products. Sure, it’d bring in lots more $$ for me, but the pain I’d inflict on others and the pain in the neck–really a MUCH lower pain–for me to maintain wouldn’t be worth it.)

10. Socks. No, no major negatives to rejoice in here. I just like wearing them. Laundering them and then mating them up later… well, that’s NOT a favorite thing. (Yeh, yeh: I’ve tried alla those lil tricks about securing pairs of socks together before washing: they do not work. Socks are escape artists, able to escape both the ties that bind them to each other in the wash and to another dimension, where they mate with socks from other pairs and produce weird hybrids like… ties!)

11. “…miles and miles of files, pretty files of your forefathers’ fruit”–the effluvia of years and years of not throwing out the junk family members dump on us. It keeps me living, I tell ya! (I just canNOT die before I’ve cleared out some of this crap! ;-))

12. Inkjet refill kits. Almost like playing with a kids’ chemistry set. I love exploring the chemistry necessary for removal of the inks from hands and clothes and keyboards and… *heh*

13. Pens. I must really love these things, even though I rarely use ’em any more. I know I must really love ’em cos I have drawersful, mugsful of ’em and they still clutter my desktop, keyboard drawer and I’m sure there are even some in my sock drawer (I just hope I don’t find some in my underdrawers). Of course, when I do need one…

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Noted at the Thursday Thirteen Hub–join in!

And, Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, Right Truth, The World According to Carl, The Populist, Shadowscope, Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, Leaning Straight Up, and High Desert Wanderer, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

*The Winchester Model 1895 that is usually called a “.30-.30” is rightly chambered as a .30-.40