(With apologies to Bugs Bunny and Pete Puma)
Citizen: Well, I think I’ll have to be goin’ now.
The 0!: Oh, no, you can’t leave yet. You got to have a nice cup of tea with me.
[Drags Citizen to a table]
The 0!: Here we are.
[Serves tea]
The 0!: There’s nothing as sociable as a nice cup of tea, I always say. How many lumps do you want?
Citizen: Oh, three or four
The 0!: [The 0! bunny whacks Citizen on the head with a mallet 5 times and 5 lumps appear on his head] Oh dear, I gave you one too many. Well we can fix that.
[whacks the 5th lump back in his head]
The 0!: There, and here’s a cigar for you.
[The 0! shoves the cigar in Citizen’s mouth and lights it; The 0! runs away; 3 seconds later it explodes]
One election cycle later, if the sheeple are still playing stupid (*duh* Ya think?), this could be the nightmare…
The 0!: Here we are. Tea’s on.
Citizen: But I don’t want no tea. It gives me a headache.
The 0!: Okay, well, what shall we have, then?
Citizen: [Takes out a coffee pot] Coffee! Eeeeee!
The 0!: Okay, we’ll have coffee. Eh, how many lumps do you want?
Citizen: Oh, three or four.
[The 0! hits him with mallet as before, but Citizen has an Acme stovelid on his head; The 0! takes out his Acme stovelid lifter to remove lid; lumps come out, Citizen faints]
*sigh* Stupid sheeple. Lumps are for losers. So later, following that election…
The 0!: …I just dropped by for a little social call, cuz. Say, mighty tender-looking little [child] you got there.
Citizen: Uh… yeah!
The 0!: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s start the fire and fricassee him. You start the kindling and I’ll get the coal. Uh, by the way, how many lumps do you want?
Citizen: Oh, better get me a lot of lumps. A whole lotta lumps.
[Realizes it’s The 0!; grabs the mallet]
Citizen: Oh, no, you don’t! I’ll help myself.
[Starts hitting himself on head with mallet]
It could happen much that way…
Note: my edit on the last segment leaves it with the threat of The 0! cooking and eating the child. The cartoon, of course, is different. In that, Bugs Bunny’s the protagonist who saves the wee lil rabbit Pete Puma has caught. In my closer-to-reality adaptation, Pete’s the loser citizen who’s being bamboozled and beaten up by The 0!, of course. And do note well: “0” is not “O”. “The 0!”=”The Zero”.