The 0! Establishes The Newspeak Method of Dealing With Terrorisim

“How to Handle the Terrorists” (someone needs to write new lyrics to “How to Handle a Woman”… or maybe not. Perhaps under The 0!’s White Cafe-au-lait House rules a simple word change from “woman” to “terrorist” will do.)

1. Buy more “stuff”
2. CYA for so-called “counter-terrorism community”
3. Free porn for TSA employees!!!
4. Rearrange the deck chairs.

Go ahead. Watch the speech by TOTUS linked above (as “glibly” er “ummed” through by The 0!). Read between the lines and translate from Dhimmicrappic Newspeak. I submit that my analysis is an accurate summation of the “steps” The 0! announces to “deal with” the problem of “man-caused disaster” (to use HIS DHS appointee’s terminology)–all on the heads of a “small band of violent extremists” not, of course having anything to do with a broadly-based worldwide jihad. Of course, TOTUS’s speech would have been much more convincing (though still as stupid) had TOTUS gotten someone who’s a competent public reader to deliver it.

Or, as Small Dead Animals put it:

The War On Man-Caused Disaster

Bringing a monthly status report to a Semtex fight.

With apologies to Allan J. Lerner, and to readers’ sensibilities, imagine The 0! trying to maintain pitch singing,

‘How to handle a terrorist*?
There’s a way,’ said the wise old man,
‘A way known by ev’ry terrorist
Since the whole rigmarole began.’
‘Do I flatter him?’ I begged him answer.
‘Do I threaten or cajole or plead?
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?’
Said he, smiling: ‘No indeed.
How to handle a terrorist?
Mark me well, I will tell you, sir:
The way to handle a terrorist
Is to love him…simply love him…
Merely love him…love him…love him.’

*Yeh, yeh, I know “terrorist” doesn’t scan with the Frederick Loewe melody, but it’s certainly better than “splodydope Islamic jihadi dumbass” isn’t it?