Lovely Daughter gave us a lovely plaque to hang on our front door that reads, “Velkommen,” a nice Norwegian “Welcome.”
I want to hang this below it:
My Wonder Woman says, “No.”
*sigh*
If You Enjoy Writing Scathing Reviews of Crap
Just look for “gimmes” from wannabe writers on Amazon.1
Yeh, I’m just a wee tad irked with the “self-pub” wannabe writers who
a. Don’t bother to learn English (though it’s their native tongue)
b. Think characterization is accomplished by listing all the name-brand products a character uses, and describing the character by just saying what dim-witted celebrity the character resembles
c. Doesn’t bother to read their own text, and so commits multiple errors of continuity at the speed of light
d. And then packs all this wonderfulness into 100 pages (or, sometimes even worse, 200) of a “novelette lite” and calls it a “novel.” *sigh* “Novelette Lite” even with padding the word count with useless crap like, “. . .in which case he would probably be stuck out here for the rest of his life, however brief a period that turned out to be.” No. DELE “a period.” Wasted electrons. (*sigh* Rather like this whole post, eh? *heh*)
Fortunately, I only actually read through about one of these a week, because I reject the absolute worst of them within the first page of text. The “survivors” often get eviscerated in reviews, though I only note ten or so (and when I’m feeling generous, sometimes fewer) of the worst examples of text that would gag a maggot.
Yes, it got worse in the book I picked to pick on here. Because of certain external factors (namely a recommendation from someone whose recommendations are often on target), I stuck it out with the book the above example came from–through even more garbage–until,
“. . .the slug had been fired from a large-caliber handgun, probably a .45. . . He knew that such projectiles traveled at a high velocity, faster than the speed of sound. . . ”
Urm, no. A good rule of thumb for speed of sound, at sea level, under ideal conditions, is ~1,125fps. Not even a .45ACP+P with a light bullet weight of only 185gr travels that fast (max out at ~1,000fps muzzle velocity), and given the circumstances in the scene, I _seriously_ doubt the writer was referring to (or is even aware of) the .45 Colt (often called “Long Colt”) cartridge or the firearms it is used in, and even then, if he were, he’d have to have been talking about a +P load.
Sorry. When a writer just keeps spreading The Stupid, the book should be relegated to the scrub pile.
1Do note that I keep on “buying” freebie Indie pub books because I have thereby found a few really excellent writers whose other work I end up buying and reading, and not just writers of fiction. I’ve not yet found any good poets that way, but hope springs eternal.
Just Saw a Quintessentially Stupid Question. . .
. . .on Quora. (Of course. The site is almost as bad as FarceBook.)
“If removing the 300 million guns circulating in America is the only way to turn it into an Australian sanctuary, how would we do it?”
The first person to address the question did a pretty good job dealing with it, but I’d add a sidebar:
About that Utopian “Australian sanctuary. . . “ Since the Australian “gun ban” (although it’s not really a ban) in 1996, Australia has had well more than 10x the number of deaths per capita from single-actor massacres than the US—only a few of which were committed using firearms.
Yeh, Australia is not a violence-free paradise, and reducing the numbers of firearms in the hands of law-abiding folks has not reduced the per capita ratio of deaths from mass murders.
For anyone questioning my statement, just compare single-actor mass murder totals in US and in Australia since 1996 and run the numbers against the population of each country. If you have trouble with the math, go back to school and pay attention in class this time.
Anyone who has trouble doing a search for the basic data should go live in an “assisted computing facility.” (“Here, dearie, let me make that mouse click for you.”)
All Purpose “Apology”
To anyone I may have offended: if “Love means you never have to say you’re sorry,” then, sorry.
(I hope someone explains this to “slow readers.” *heh*)
A Teensy-Tiny Piece of History
Back in 1959, in observance of Alaska’s new statehood (1958), the Southern Baptist Convention sponsored an evangelistic effort, partnering with existing SBC churches in Alaska. My dad obtained sponsorship from the baptist church in Seward, Alaska, along with its partnering churches in the lower 48, and spent a month as part of evangelistic meetings, clinics on church music and church education, and in personal evangelism.
I have copies of letters between him and the sponsoring church, copies of various agendas for meetings, and a very special “cookbook” compiled by students of Shishmaref Day School, Shishmaref, Alaska.It’s a little ~4”x5” typewritten booklet with a hand lettered cover that includes such “recipes” (descriptions of preparation, no amounts given; kinda like my “Not a recipe” recipes I post here now and then *heh* like
Eskimo Ice Cream
- grate reindeer tallow into small pieces
- Add seal oil slowly while beating with hand
- After some seal oil has been used, then add a little water while whipping
- Continue adding seal oil and water until white and fluffy
- Some berries can be added to it
It might be difficult to come by reindeer tallow and seal oil, here in America’s Third World County™, but it’d certainly be “keto friendly.” 🙂
Subliteracy: Mass-Man’s Pernicious Influence
Writers trying (and failing) to fake literacy and their tendency to misuse words they _think_ they know the meanings of simply manage to spread subliteracy. Today’s misused word (out of MANY by noon, despite the fact that I have not been on the Interwebs longer than 20 minutes today before now): utilize. No, it does not simply mean “use” in more (unnecessary) syllables. It either means a chemical process wherein the uptake of a nutrient is effected or to effectively use a thing for a purpose for which it was not originally intended (Thus “utilize” is often proper referring to redneck reengineering of common items for new, and often unique, applications. 🙂 ) At least, those were _once_ the very useful distinctions between “use” and “utilize,” but as subliterates spread their “mass-man” (TY, Ortega) influence to other subliterates, a once very useful word is becoming simply a pedestrian means of distinguishing between literates and subliterates.
Oh, and an annoyance to anyone who wants to genuinely master English.
Christmas Isn’t Over, Yet
Christmas is just “prep time” for Easter.
That is all.
Once Again, Xmas Stew
This year again, a Xmas meal I make every now and then: Green Chicken (or Pork) Stew. It’s a chicken (or pork) posole made with the following ingredients:
Cooked and cubed chicken or pork. Most folks would probably go with boned and skinned chicken breasts for the chicken, but that’d be a mistake. Use chicken breasts, if you must, but cook them skin on, bone in. Chicken thighs would be even tastier. Bone ’em when you cube ’em. Whether using pork or chicken, be sure to season the meat with salt, pepper, and freshly ground cumin seed (use a coffee mill or a mortar and pestle).
Sauteed chopped onions and minced garlic (use ghee or the rendered fats from the chicken or pork).
Green enchilada sauce and chopped green chiles (your choice of green chiles; everyday Xmas Stew can be fine with the canned stuff)
Condensed chicken or mushroom soup
Cannellini beans
WHITE hominy
A can of Rotels™
Dump the prepared ingredients in a crockpot on low for six or more hours. Served with baked corn tortillas, either whole or cut into wedges before baking.
You notice I have not mentioned amounts. That’s because it all depends on how much you want to make and how many you intend to feed, as well as how meaty/beany/corny/spicy you find you prefer.
Baked corn tortillas: Brush corn tortillas lightly with ghee, coconut oil or [BEST!] bacon grease. Place on middle rack in oven and bake at 375°F for about eight minutes. Ovens vary, so watch it and mod the time to suit your oven. If baking wedges, place them on a cookie sheet and bake at 375°F for about seven to nine minutes–again, watching them. Could be ten for either, depending on your oven, etc.
From Lovely Daughter’s “Sixth Grade Lines” Collection
From a collection of “juvie book quotes,” this:
“Why do they do all this freakin’ paperwork for no reason? I just want to be with my dog.”
I can relate. When I was a kid, I always thought school was too much “busywork.” Got in the way of my reading (in class, at least; I generally just didn’t do my homework *shrugs* I had other things I deemed to be more important. I was a very bad boy. Until high school, I generally got away with this. 😉 ).
Learning is fun, but quite often school is a boring waste of time.
In Praise of “Redneck Engineering”
Can I get a cheer for “redneck engineering”?
I ran into a problem with my installation of some “snap and click” laminate flooring. Uneven floor combined with some heavy furnishings (in the latest case, a refrigerator1) caused some problems with planks not quite matching up, leaving a very small gap and a ridge.
Not good. I had already placed and glued together the pieces under the fridge (the flooring is water resistant, but still, using a waterproof glue in the joints that might be exposed to water was definitely the thing to do) So, what to do? Move fridge out again, only detach the line for the ice maker and unplug it in order to get it far enough away to allow installation of more planks, without the mismatch caused by the weight of the fridge?
Nah. Six-inch plastic ruler, carefully wedged under the lowest point, to bring the plank back level. New plank fit in slick as goose grease.
Three cheers for “redneck engineering”!
1Moved the fridge out, installed “waterproofed” laminate flooring, moved fridge back. Weight of fridge over piece of flooring at front caused a very , very slight depression I could not get another piece to match.