Category: Obamassiah

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Stolen Humor

I saw this at Woody’s Place and warned him I was stealing it…

Obama And The Cowboy

A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather support for his healthcare reform plan. When he discovered the cowboy was from President Bush’s town, Barack started to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy said, “Y’all havin’ some problem with them circle flies?”

Obama stopped talking and said, “Well, yes, if that’s what they’re called, but I’ve never heard of circle flies.”

“Well Sir,” the cowboy replied, “circle flies hang around ranches. They’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

“Oh,” Obama replied as he went back to rambling. But, a moment later he stopped and bluntly asked, “Are you calling me a horse’s ass?”

“No, Sir,” the cowboy answered, “I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse’s ass.”

“That’s a good thing,” said Obama as he began rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl said, “Hard to fool them flies, though.”

Y’all be sure to head on over to Woody’s for more of his wit and wisdom, ‘K?

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Oh. Wow. Will the Idiocy Never Cease?

Anti-“blasphemy” regs trump the First Amendment. What part of “shall make no law” is unclear to The 0!? Just more “Sit down and shut up” from The 0!’s White House.

While attracting surprisingly little attention, the Obama administration supported the effort of largely Muslim nations in the U.N. Human Rights Council to recognize exceptions to free speech for any “negative racial and religious stereotyping.” The exception was made as part of a resolution supporting free speech that passed this month, but it is the exception, not the rule that worries civil libertarians. Though the resolution was passed unanimously, European and developing countries made it clear that they remain at odds on the issue of protecting religions from criticism. It is viewed as a transparent bid to appeal to the “Muslim street” and our Arab allies, with the administration seeking greater coexistence through the curtailment of objectionable speech. Though it has no direct enforcement (and is weaker than earlier versions), it is still viewed as a victory for those who sought to juxtapose and balance the rights of speech and religion.

Hmmm, if The 0! is serious about pushing this, expect an effective nullification coming here in the U.S. of

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Coming soon to a court room near you:

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No Bell Piece Prize

Ya have to keep an eye on Perri, cos he comes up with the best stuff… which, of course, every now and then I just have to steal.

OLD BUTCH

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this particular morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover. To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they also awarded him the Pullet Surprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.

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Ironic? Yes, but Justice, Too

Health Care Speechwriter for Edwards, Obama & Clinton Without Insurance Now

“What makes this a double blow is that my experience contradicts so much of what I wrote for political leaders over the last decade. That’s a terrible feeling, too. I typed line after line that said everything Massachusetts did would make health insurance more affordable. If I had a dollar for every time I typed, ‘universal coverage will lower premiums,’ I could pay for my own health care at Massachusetts’s rates.”

Sometimes, life really is fair. This time the lying (or, perhaps just stupid) propagandist gets spattered with the rotten fruits of the lie. Fitting, just, fair.

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For Those Who Slept Through the “News”

The 0! has joined Dhimmi Kahtah, Yasser Arafat and Algore as a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. (*cue laugh track*)

Nobel-announcement

[Note: I’ve not yet found an embeddable version of this video, so just click on over to RCP to view it]

A helpful commenter at Real Clear Politics seems to be fluent in Norwegian:

Ok for those who do not speak Norwegian let me translate: “[A]s a country filled with weaklings and men with no balls, we are delighted to award the Nobel peace price to a man who has does nothing other than offer lofty words and hollow rhetoric. We are actually going to present the award to someone who is destroying a once great country, because that is actually a good thing in our mind as we want everyone weak and meek, just like us. So the award goes to BO!!!!”

*heh*

UPDATE: The Random Yak (very kindly and gently) blows a big fat raspberry at the Nobel committee. Mark Steyn could not have done it so well. The new Jonathan Swift.

UPDATE#2: The Obama Piece, urm, Peace Prize Theme Song:

I Started A Joke – Barry Gibb

(OK, I may catch a bit of flack from all my relatives of Norwegian ancestry–including my Wonder Woman–but it’ll all be worth it. ;-))

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The Witch Doctor

Well, The 0!’s song and dance still looks and sounds swell to the Mass MEdia Podpeople Hivemind, but the IOC is “a bunch of racists” and have given his song and dance the hook offstage. Looks like he now has to find other ways to slip his payback to the Daley machine and its cronies.

Oh, like this is all that surprising. When The 0! isn’t using TOTUS, his best sounds like

Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang…
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

All sound and fury, signifying nothing. And that’s on one of his good days!

As Jerry Pournelle said just today,

“I am not impressed with the competence of this administration’s diplomacy.”

Hmm, seems like he’s not the only one, eh?

Continue reading “The Witch Doctor”