Category: *heh*

All that “my esteemed colleague” this and that and t’other. It’s not progress if cannibals use knives and forks.

Much of common interaction between people is just meaningless noise. Take common greetings and leave-takings. “How are you?” is just noise from the lips of someone who really doesn’t give a damn how you are and isn’t even remotely considering wondering about it. “Have a nice day,” is equally empty noise in almost all cases.

I tend to try making folks minds lurch a bit and wonder about such things. When I greet someone, frequently I’ll simply ask, “How am I?” That alone is usually just enough to jar them out of their dull lack of contemplation as they drift vaguely through the day–IF they have enough wit to be paying even the slightest bit of attention to their surroundings. I get some interesting, though usually delayed by double-takes, replies from time to time as the occasional person stops to consider that two actual people are interacting… Not often enough to be encouraging, but often enough to give me a wee glimmer of hope.

Then there’s my semi-frequent reply to an empty, “Have a nice day.”

“Kind of pushy aren’t you? I mean, what if I want to have a bad day?” Or, “Who made you the boss of me? I can have a bad day if I want to!”

Now, admittedly, each of those is deliberately delivered with a wry smile, looking the person square in the eyes if possible, so the sting ought to be taken out of such comments, but still. The cognitive dissonance created with statements like this might–might–lead folks to consider what they’re really saying and whether they really mean the blessing they unconsciously pronounce as empty words.

I just try to do my small part to wake the sleepers from their slumber. 😉

…to keep everything from happening all at once. That’d just be messy, you know?

On the product label of a 3-piece ethernet cable/adapter set:

“Idea for connect almost anything to your USB devices”

WTF?!? The cable has two RJ-45 connectors. One adapter is a marginally useful (very marginally useful in an emergency situation, I suppose) Female/Female RJ-45 connector and one completely useless RJ-45 splitter (anyone who’d use such a thing instead of using a router, hub or switch needs their head examined, IMO).

No USB cable or adapters whatsoever.

And note the fractured English, which was probably intended to convey, “Ideal for connecting… ” Yep. Made by slave labor in China.

Oh, I read the back for more amusement, such as,

“This product contains chemicals, including lead; know [sic] to the states [sic] of California… “

Wow. Chinese slave labor as founts of wisdom noting the gaseous, liquid and solid states of California? Somnolent state vs waking state? What?

And,

“When you open package please use scissors and cut along perforation… “

You guessed it: no perforations.

There was more, but these were enough to provide me with a bit of amusement.

…I might just live forever!

As the poets have mournfully sung,
Death takes the innocent young,
The rolling-in-money,
The screamingly-funny,
And those who are very well hung.

They’re both useless, but it is fun watching them fall down the stairs.

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Note that I did not form the plural of “Slinky” as “Slinkies”. Why? Because Slinky is a proper noun, of course. “Congresscritters,” OTOH, is just about the most UNproper noun in existence… Just about.

…it seems to me that being pricked with a pin would be better than being pinned with a prick.

Just a thought from somewhere off the wall.

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Yeh, yeh: I post these things so you won’t have to. Either that or it’s the voices in my head making me do it.

Started several posts over the past few days. Got distracted. On two, distracted before I typed the title.

Whatever’s going on… Oooo! Shiny!