Now, that’s just stupid2. “All you need is love”? Won’t do you a lot of good without at least a lil oxygen.
I Do These Things…
…so you don’t have to. Driving into town this a.m., I began singing (if “singing” is the word for it) a little ditty that popped into my head for (literally) God only knows what reason:
On top of some carrots, all covered in mud,
I shot a “wabbit” for old Elmer Fudd.I cooked it with pepper (it tasted like hare),
Poor Elmer just sat there; he could only stare.“I ate all ‘your wabbit’,” I said with aplomb,
“‘Cos you didn’t shoot it; now sit on your thumb.”
OK, I was really close to town by the time I started, so I didn’t even finish the thing, but there you are: my mind, coffee-deprived.
Drudge-tapositioning
Old Dogs, Old Tricks
…and old news, but still laughable. The Zero’s people have been pillorying The Romney Android for transporting his dog on top of his car in a dog carrier (complete with improvised windshield) in 1983 as cruel and unfeeling. I agree. The poor thing couldn’t hang its head out the window into a stream of 70mph wind! Poor thing!
OTOH… Stolen:
Q: What did Barack Hussein Obama Soetoro‘s dad tell him at the dog park?
A: “Don’t play with your food.”
And…
I Swear: The Thing Holding My Attention is the Freakin’ Oreo!
Seriously. I’m on some strict carb restrictions here, and that Oreo looks mouth-watering goooooood!
Continue reading “I Swear: The Thing Holding My Attention is the Freakin’ Oreo!”
Late Bloomer
I’ve always been a late bloomer in nearly every aspect of my life. Just slow, I guess, or maybe I’ve just been distracted a lot of the time by the one or two areas where I “bloomed” early, I dunno.
Anywho, I do know what delayed my love affair with coffee for a while. Sophomore year in high school. Band trip into Mexico. We stayed in all kindsa places–whatever the communities would arrange for lodging. Big towns/cities: maybe commercial lodging facilities. Small towns? Notsomuch. I recall lodging accommodations in a convent–yeh, a convent. They were pretty hard up to take on a bunch of high school boys as lodgers even for a night.
Breakfast the next morning? Some questionable egg dish, tortillas and some “fresh ground” coffee. No, I mean it tasted like some ground they’d just dug up and put in the pot to boil. Overnight. Those of us who tried it wanted to take back the previous night’s concert for the town.
It was four years before I tried coffee again.
One Thing About eBooks…
…and particularly Kindle books, is the ease of taking notes within the books–and searching notes. This is especially useful for those books that have error reporting enabled. One of my fav notes to submit in an error report is, “Consult Inigo Montoya. (No, not that quote; the other one.)” I generally slug that comment in wherever a word is misused. And, oh, am I finding a slew of those! The quality of proof readingand copy editing has really, really declined in recent years, and in self-published books it is frequently non-existent… or of a “quality” that can only–charitably–be described as comparable to toxic sewer sludge.
Oh, well, at least I have the joy of making LOADS of snarky notes, and even–happy-happy-joy-joy–submitting a few as “error reports”.
Gottalovethat.
Not Exactly Divina Commedia, Perhaps
More like, Commedia Nera… maybe.
Hey, my folks are approaching 90. They have doctors’ appointments just about every day of the week (and this last week definitely every day), and their lives seem to revolve around medical tests, consultants with specialists, surgeries, therapy and who knows what else.
At least with the weight I’ve lost, I’ll not have to buy a new suit for any funerals.
See Sydney Carton for the relevant viewpoint on death and dying:
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.
I would miss ’em, but really, “…it is a far, far better rest…” Still, glad they’re having fun with their busy medical schedule, since I really don’t want to start missing them. Selfish of me, I know, but there it is. As long as they’re having fun, let ’em rack up the med hours. They’ve certainly earned it.
Timeless Wisdom
I don’t know who first said it (and am not even sure where I last saw it *heh*), but this ranks up there with, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia,”* as timeless wisdom:
“A human without at least one sharp pointy thing and the ability to start a fire is just whining hairless ape in most survival situations.”
Yeh, I feel naked without at least two or three “sharp pointy things” on my person at all times, and since I can start a fire with my burning gaze of scorn… *heh*
Raspberry for the Common Man
Please, don’t get me wrong; I have all due respect for the common man. He (shaddup, feminazis: I’ll use the CORRECT generic “he” to represent she/he anytime I want to, and “common man” to refer to “common woman” as well. Lump it if you don’t like it) struggles against great odds to survive in a harsh world.
But still…
You know, it used to be said, “Man: the tool-making, tool using animal,” but now that we know that parrots, monkeys, apes, raccoons and who knows how many other animals “make” (OK, improvise ore than fashion) and use tools, even the few who can recall that once-popular meme no longer use it. (The common man, of course, has no idea it was once even a meme.)
Now, it might be said, “Man: the internet user,” in the same way one can say of parrots that they use found objects as tools. Common man uses the internet, even when he has trouble turning on the device he uses to access it. (Do your own search on “computer support jokes”; they’re almost all based on real events, real users doing exceptionally stupid things.)
May I once again point the reader to (a translation of) Ortega’s insightful, even prophetic work, Revolt of the Masses? There are downloadable versions available via the web, but I’ll not point to those pirated copies. You can buy one for under $10 at Amazon.
On a cheerier note, let me echo this blog’s header here:
“In a democracy (‘rule by mob’), those who refuse to learn from history are in the majority and dictate that everyone else suffer for their ignorance.”
Now, doesn’t that make you grateful for the common man?