Enlightened Curmudgeonry

I like to think of myself as an enlightened tightwad curmudgeon. I know, I know, I fail to achieve standard as either curmudgeon or tightwad from time to time, but I strive to meet–and even, if possible, exceed–standards. As for the “enlightened” label, well, I do try to distinguish between “cheap” and “inexpensive” and to act accordingly when discerning different classes of people.

The last point is particularly important to me. There are different classes of people who engage in thoughtless, careless and stupid behaviors that negatively impact people around them. Those who are, through no fault of their own, truly mentally incapable of being reasonably careful, thoughtful and intelligent in their behaviors which have an impact on others I do give a bye, although, even there, if I have told such a person pointedly to go somewhere else and bother someone else and they do not desist in their annoying behavior, I may become a wee tad more blunt.

But those whose only excuses for thoughtless, careless and stupid behaviors that negatively impact people around them are that behaving thoughtfully, carefully and intelligently are that it would be minimally inconvenient for them, that they are simply lazy or too self-important or even nearly (or actually) sociopathic (e.g., politicians *gag-spit-spew* and Mass MEdia Podpeople), then f___ ’em with a rusty hammer. A rusty claw hammer. Sideways. Repeatedly*. I have no time for such people and view them as simply wastes of oxygen. While I have never considered any such person to be worth the powder it would take to blow their brains through their noses (an extremely small amount of powder, since most of ’em seem to have spent years giving large chunks away to politicians *gag-spit-spew* and Mass MEdia Podpeople to play their own little dirty games with), I do sometimes tell such persons what a public good they could do by performing the exercise themselves, often vividly and vulgarly.

Of course, since such persons have usually spent decades in self-enstupiation and couldn’t even find their own asses with a mirror on a stick, I doubt their ability to perform such explosive microsurgery.

Do note that since those who are able to pass the extremely dumbed-down, easy-peasy, “only-a-moron-could-fail-it” drivers license exams have demonstrated a societally-acceptable level of intellectual prowess *sigh*, there’s not a single, solitary driver anywhere on America’s streets, roads or highways I give a bye under rule #1 above. Drive like a dangerous asshat around me and your license plate WILL be phoned ahead to the appropriate authorities**. It’s usually easy revenue for whatever law enfarcement agency catches the call, so there’s a good chance I’ll be able to later drive by the asshat, stopped ahead of some flashing lights. (I love driving by one of “my” stops… and waving. Just doing my part to use the anarcho-tyrannical tendency of law enfarcement to “get” the easy ones in favor of doing at least something good for society.)

I think you get the drift. No “vigilantism” need be involved. I do like to use the system to persecute asshats though. I do NOT use the system to persecute asshats just for my personal benefit, though. No, that’s not some higher ethic; it’s tightwaddery. Those are my tax dollars at “work” there, too, and I’d like to see them used in the most parsimonious way to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number. Encouraging official persecution of asshats for dangerous–or even sometimes just rude–behavior that also usually needlessly inconveniences others (out of sheer arrogance, laziness, self-centeredness) is a public good, IMO.

And I’m just being “public spirited” right?

*heh*

*it’s a metaphorical rusty claw hammer. Get real, folks.

**unless such dangerous, asshat driving is performed BY a “law enfarcement ossifer”. In that case, I have been known to take note of the particulars and physically go to the appropriate agency to file a complaint. Yes. Seriously. [Long tale of a murderous asshat “law enfarcement ossifer” and the murderous results of his behavior deleted… ]