If the Thugs Standing Around are going to engage in genital groping, they should at least offer the option of cross-sex genital groping (A.K.A. “hand jobs”) and lap dances to those who would prefer it.
Oh, Great… for Kids Who Can Get Their Parents to Move East for the Summer
TD Bank is offering kids (18 or younger) $10 for reading 10 books this summer.
Great, right? Here’s the deal:
1. Read 10 books this summer. See suggestions.
2. Print out the Summer Reading Form
3. Write down the names of the books they’ve read
4. Take the form to the nearest TD Bank
5. Watch $10 be deposited into a new or existing Young Saver Account
Oh, wait. Notsogreat.
1. Locate the nearest TD Bank location (WTF?!? I thought TD Bank specialized in online banking!):
“There is no listing found based on your criteria. Please change your criteria and try again.” (IOW, “Move to a location where we have a physical presence, sucker!”)
2. Move there.
3. “Here’s your money kid, only… we’ll keep it for you. Howzat for a sweet deal, eh?”
4. 10 books? *feh* Sub-par. Way, way sub-par. (Of course, “par” to me is the last Summer Reading Program I participated in as a kid. My total? 235 books for the summer. Yeh, yeh, Mom did shoo me outa the house, and visits to grandparents involved lotsa outdoorsy stuff, too. IOW, wasn’t 24X7 w/my nose in a book. I used to read a lot more than I do even now.)
Of course, if parents would simply stop playing “event planners” for their kids entertainment schedules and just, well, parent while letting doing whatever they can to compel their mentally lazy kids to create their own entertainment, then encouraging them to read, making sure they can get to a library, etc., could go a long way toward improving our future citizens.
Just sayin’.
One More Sign I Want for My Lawn
I think it’d go well with a “Go Away” doormat and a used silhouette target (laminated), don’t you? And on the front door, “If you don’t have a search warrant, don’t knock. Just go away.”
*heh*
Not a hermit yet, but exploring the idea…
Why I May Never Die
If W. H. Auden’s pithy observation holds water, I just might live forever:
As poets have mournfully sung,
Death takes the innocent young,
The rolling in money,
The screamingly funny
And those who are very well hung.
Well, at least there may be an up side to being me…
Gotta Love Askimet
“Akismet has protected your site from 1,180,714 spam comments already.”
Why I Go Inside When It Rains
I used to be an excellent conductor. Still have the chops. So… I avoid lightning.
Ah Bin Thankin’
Considerin’ the idea uh gettin’ some consultin’ folks to upgrade mah image. Ya think Stevie Wonder’d take a gig as a clothin’ consultant?
Hmmm, Could Be…
Maybe this is ONE of the reasons I am fairly comfy here in America’s Third World County:
Do note that almost none of the officeholders labeled “Republican” are “Elite Country Club Repugnican’ts” like most national Repugnican’t officeholders, and the lone Democratic officeholder would be comfortable running as a Republican in most locales.
At least I can find a little bit of common ground to talk with these folks. *heh*
More “Phishing pfor Psuckers”
Text of an email I received recently:
Dear Customer,
Your order has been successfully canceled. For your reference, here’s a summary of your order:
You just canceled order 162-427-72682 placed on May 11, 2012.
Status: CANCELED
_____________________________________________________________________
1 “Mounts”; 2003, Second Edition
By: Jamie TurnerSold by: Amazon.com LLC
_____________________________________________________________________
Thank you for visiting Amazon.com!
———————————————————————
Amazon.com
Earth’s Biggest Selection
http://www.amazon.com
Now, someone who wasn’t paying any attention (or is just too stupid to waste oxygen on) could easily have been caught out by this. There were links to a malware installation on both the purported “order number” and on the text referring to Amazon.com at the end of the email.
But… this one was just too, too easy to resist. First, I knew I’d not placed such an order. “But then,” someone might say (though certainly not YOU, gentle reader), “surely that would lead one to click the link to check on that order. After all, someone might be using one’s stolen Amazon ID to make purchases!”
Except, not mine, and I’m not clicking on ANY obscured link in an email without KNOWING where it leads. Not happening.
But, I did look at the email’s source text and see that the links were NOT to Amazon but to a site that would steal my Amazon creds were I to go there and log in. Except that neither my browser nor LastPass would recognize the site and offer to log in for me, were I to be foolish enough to have clicked the links anyway.
Oh, and the email was to an account that is not in any way, shape, fashion or form associated with my Amazon account, nor has it ever been. Sure, all my email accounts are polled and gathered by one account, but I checked which account the email had been sent to, AND the form is not what I’d have received from Amazon, what with a few pertinent details missing.
So, just taking few seconds to do a coupla quick checks averted the possibility, remote though it is given my other simple measures, of having my Amazon account credentials stolen.
It’s not hard and doesn’t take any time at all, but I’ll bet a few mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging oxygen sinks with fewer active brain cells than a cracked crock of kimchi will fall for it.
Pants Free Flashmob!
I just wanted to say that.