Category: *heh*

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Preparing for TEOTWAWKI

Yeh, the dreaded “TEOTWAWKI“. *meh* It could be as simple an ending as NO MORE COFFEE!!!

While that may seem a simple thing, it’s really much, much worse than a Zombie Apocalypse or Nuclear Winter, either of which can be handily survived with the application of enough COFFEE!! (Well, and beer, but I’m not going there right now.)

So, several BIG freezers paired with an adequate power generation method is a must. Oh, and loads and loads and loads (and LOADS) of coffee beans in vacuum sealed bags (with oxygen absorbers included).

But. Unless one really likes “cowboy coffee” or its equivalent, or has a nice French press, coffee filters will be a Very Good Thing to have on hand. In truckloads. Yeh, yeh, I know all about those metal mesh filters. Fuggetaboutit. Just not good enough. Besides, coffee filters are useful for tons of things, so having as much coffee filter stock as toilet paper stock (oh, wait–you are hoarding toilet paper, aren’t you? Why, after TEOTWAWKI, it’ll be the new “gold standard” in “money”. Think about it) when TEOTWAWKI hits might be a Very Good Idea.

Of course, then one would need a vault of some kind to store these riches against the slavering hoards of coffeeheads who’ve been turned into zombies by caffeine deprivation. And then there’re the alligators in the moat and the guard cheetahs to remember to stock feed for and the pillboxes with computer-run 7.62 mm GAU-17/A gatling guns and the…

Nothing’s too much in protecting one’s coffee supplies.

 

 

 

 

TEOTWAWKI: The end of the world as we know it

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I Really Need to Ameliorate My Tinnitus

Sometimes it’s so distracting I mishear background stuff. For example, a TV commercial I heard as,

“Introducing the evil 4G“

The sheer noise level of the tinnitus is really that distracting a times.

I don’t watch much TV. This was while sharing some “being there” time while my Wonder Woman was watching one of the (very, very) few TV shows she watches via our cable subscription.

Evo 4G

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Oh, Great… for Kids Who Can Get Their Parents to Move East for the Summer

TD Bank is offering kids (18 or younger) $10 for reading 10 books this summer.

Great, right? Here’s the deal:

1. Read 10 books this summer. See suggestions.
2. Print out the Summer Reading Form
3. Write down the names of the books they’ve read
4. Take the form to the nearest TD Bank
5. Watch $10 be deposited into a new or existing Young Saver Account

Oh, wait. Notsogreat.

1. Locate the nearest TD Bank location (WTF?!? I thought TD Bank specialized in online banking!):

“There is no listing found based on your criteria. Please change your criteria and try again.” (IOW, “Move to a location where we have a physical presence, sucker!”)

2. Move there.
3. “Here’s your money kid, only… we’ll keep it for you. Howzat for a sweet deal, eh?”
4. 10 books? *feh* Sub-par. Way, way sub-par. (Of course, “par” to me is the last Summer Reading Program I participated in as a kid. My total? 235 books for the summer. Yeh, yeh, Mom did shoo me outa the house, and visits to grandparents involved lotsa outdoorsy stuff, too. IOW, wasn’t 24X7 w/my nose in a book. I used to read a lot more than I do even now.)

Of course, if parents would simply stop playing “event planners” for their kids entertainment schedules and just, well, parent while letting doing whatever they can to compel their mentally lazy kids to create their own entertainment, then encouraging them to read, making sure they can get to a library, etc., could go a long way toward improving our future citizens.

Just sayin’.

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One More Sign I Want for My Lawn

I think it’d go well with a “Go Away” doormat and a used silhouette target (laminated), don’t you? And on the front door, “If you don’t have a search warrant, don’t knock. Just go away.”

*heh*

Not a hermit yet, but exploring the idea…

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Why I May Never Die

If W. H. Auden’s pithy observation holds water, I just might live forever:

As poets have mournfully sung,
Death takes the innocent young,
The rolling in money,
The screamingly funny
And those who are very well hung.

Well, at least there may be an up side to being me…