Somewhere On My Top Ten List…

…of things I hate. Depending on the day, it might even rank ahead of politicians *gag-spew* and Mass MEdia Podpeople:

Grass lawns and the “care” thereof.

Think about it a second. On the one end of the spectrum we see maniacs who weed and feed and spray and water and “manicure” and roll and trim and vacuum and comb and all other kinds of weird and stupid shiite. And for what? A boring, monochrome green that would be OK on a billiard table but hardly belongs anywhere in nature.

On the other, more rational, end of “lawns” we might see a well-design rock “lawn” that can be “cared” for with a once-a-season herbicide or a lawn with some other no-mow ground cover that

    1. Is suitable to the climate and so needs little to no added water
    2. Is not some boring monochromatic green.

I vote for the “more rational” approach. Something to control erosion that I’d not need to water or mow… not that I’ve ever watered a lawn in any home we’ve had. (If a lawn can’t survive on what God gives it, then it doesn’t deserve to live, IMO. *heh*)

And mowing! Was there ever such a useless task invented? Grow a (grass) lawn. Mow it once a week (or be shunned by neighbors *heh*). Figure out something to do with the *@^#$* clippings–grateful that at least mulching blades finally arrived for that–and do it all over again, for eternity! Talk about hellish torture… Tantalus was a piker.

No, I can see that a Thymus serpyllum (“Elfin mint”) lawn is in my future… Having a groundcover that naturally limits itself to 1″-2″ and is drought tolerant and edible seems far, far more rational than continuing to torture myself with mowing (though NOT weeding or feeding or watering!) a grass lawn (which I’m also allergic to… in more ways than one *heh*). Maybe the “Elfin” mint will be as aggressive as the regular mint I grow and choke out the grass on its own… Well, a guy can dream, can’t he?

2 Replies to “Somewhere On My Top Ten List…”

  1. Edible lawns that don’t require mowing. Sounds like a no-brainer to me. Elfin mint is probably verboten by city ordinance around here. Makes too much sense to be legal.

    1. Another reason why America’s Third World County is my choice over KC. Our lawns are pretty much our own, as long as we keep em controlled enough that pests have limited havens… and our neighbors don’t have apoplectic fits. Used to live in KCMO. Met my Wonder Woman, started our family and bought our first home there, but man! it’s become a socialist mini-“republic”. Almost as bad as La-La land, from what I can gather…

      Sadly, the “big city” we now live in (almost 2,000 souls and a very few politicians–separate classes, cos politicians are soulless, ya know) has instituted a few “livestock” restrictions. *sigh* Were I to want to raise any food animal larger than chickens or rabbits, I’d have to move a few hundred feet, to just outside “city” limits, now. Oh, well. I’ve never really been all that interested in pigs and cattle (though I wouldn’t mind a goat or three).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *