At Least It Wasn’t On “Black Friday”

Aside from the “reporter’s” lack of ability to write plain English*, this is, well, I’ll let y’all decide just what it is:

Woman Caught Making Meth Inside S. Tulsa Walmart


* “…lack of ability to write plain English”? Well, the whole thing is written on about a sixth grader’s prose level, but “Police say surveillance video shows Halfmoon had been in the store since noon. Six hours later security noticed she was acting suspicious [sic], so they called Tulsa Police.” *gag*

Laying aside the other content (SIX HOURS LATER “security” noticed something wonky?), “security noticed she was acting suspicious” indicates, as parsed in standard English, that SHE was suspicious of something. What the subliterate moron who penned the line means, though, is that “she was acting suspiciousLY” (“was acting” modified by the adverb “suspiciously” not the adjective, “suspicious”).

And then there’s that whole “time out of joint” thing with tenses in the lede. “Tulsa police arrest a woman for mixing chemicals to make meth inside a south Tulsa Walmart on Thursday.” No, dumbass, past tense: arrested.

So, we have a report of someone attempting to manufacture meth IN a WallyWorld written by an unethical subliterate who is apparently paid to write prose that negatively influences the literacy of others. A _professional_ taking money for doing substandard work like this is, IMO, a thief. Both persons should be jailed. Maybe they could share a cell. And some drugs.

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