Tag: stupid is as stupid does

I had to steal someone else’s resolution this year, cos I’m already perfect, ya know. Well, apart from that “theft” thing… [heh]

Someone came up with a New Year’s resolution I think I can keep.
Can’t credit it, cos I recieved it in email from someone who
doesn’t know where it came from…

================================================================

The Doctor told me I should start an exercise program.

Not wanting to harm this old body, I’ve “resolved” to do the following:

Monday
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning mail

Tuesday
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head

Wednesday
Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Run around in circles

Thursday
Advise the President on how to run the country
Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire

Friday
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge

Saturday
Pick up the pieces!!

Sunday
Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Uplift my hands in praise
Hug someone and encourage them.

(Stupid reporter skipped school)

This is one of those good news-bad news kinds of things. Wonderful news: 10-year-old Tilly Smith was paying attention in class when a teacher who apparently knew his subject matter was going over a geography lesson.

PHUKET, Thailand – Quick-thinking 10-year-old Tilly Smith is being hailed as a hero after saving her parents and dozens of fellow vacationers from the deadly tsunami – thanks to a school geography lesson.

Tilly warned the doubting adults at a resort that a massive tidal wave was about to strike – just minutes before the deadly tide rushed in and turned the resort into rubble. Tilly’s family, from Surrey, England, was enjoying a day at Maikhao Beach last Sunday when the sea rushed out and began to bubble.

The adults were curious, but Tilly froze in horror.

“Mummy, we must get off the beach now!” she told her mother. “I think there’s going to be a tsunami.”

The adults didn’t understand until Tilly added the magic words: “A tidal wave.”

Saved the lives of dozens of people. Good on you, Tilly.

Now, two strikes against modern education.

1.) The adults had no idea what she was talking about until she told them in simpler terms. Dummies.

2.) Later in the story, the sub-literate reporter (Duncan Larcombe) slipped this past a sub-literate editor at the New York Post:

“Her warning spread like wildfire. Within seconds, the beach was deserted — and it turned out to be one of the only places along the shores of Phuket where no one was killed or seriously injured.”

“…one of the only…”???? [emphasis added] The cretins at the New York Post apparently don’t know the meaning of the word “only”: without others or anything further; alone; solely; exclusively. If this place were (notice the subjunctive mood) exclusively the place “along the shores of Phuket where no one was killed or seriously injured” it could not have been “one of the… places.” Only means the single one. No other.

So, a little child who pays attention in class and learns a life-saving lesson—one that saves the lives of many who apprently were too stupid to learn the same lesson when they were snozzing through geography lessons.

Maybe they’ll pay attention in the future. Nah. They’ll rely on having Tilly (and the few like her) to do their thinking for them.

Sad, though, that a reporter (and his editors), whose business is wordsmithing, are too stupid or lazy to learn their craft.

(Oh, ht to On the Third Hand)

Missed again!

My fav from this post at Caption This! is the one that reads:

“Leo would later regret teaching his dog the deadly art of Precision Dive-Crapping.”

The picture says it all…

“…gripped by an unprecedented degree of irrationality, prejudice and hysteria over the issues of Iraq, the terrorist jihad and Israel… ”

Via Powerline, this link to an article (actually a talk at a conference) by Melanie Phillips, “The Reporting of Iraq and Israel: An Abuse of Media Power”.

An excerpt:

“A friend went into Blackwells university bookshop in Oxford and asked the counter clerk: ‘Do you have a copy of Alan Dershowitz’s The Case for Israel?’ ‘There is no case for Israel’, the counter clerk replied.”

Read ye all of it.

No, not mine. Frank J’s.

A sample:

* Dan Rather does an expose on how Jesus never did raise Lazarus from the dead based on memos allegedly typed at the beginning of the first millenium A.D. It recevies little scrutiny from his audience at the nursing home.

More at the link.

No thanks. I’ll pass on the grey poupon…

Guest blogger RightWingDuck, posting for Frank J at IMAO, has a list of New Years Resolutions he’d make for other people, such as,

“Michael Moore
He should eat more… ”

Hmmm. how about Hollyweird? I imagine he’d like it with a little Heinz catsup, and it isn’t as though Hollyweird would be any great loss. After being processed by Moore, it’d be back as good as new… in the end.

James Wolcott’s dreams come true in tsunami

(HT: Right Wing News ) Vanity Fair Contributing Editor, James Wolcott speaking about the last hurricane to sweep Florida and the Gulf coast:

“I root for hurricanes. When, courtesy of the Weather Channel, I see one forming in the ocean off the coast of Africa, I find myself longing for it to become big and strong–Mother Nature’s fist of fury, Gaia’s stern rebuke. Considering the havoc mankind has wreaked upon nature with deforesting, stripmining, and the destruction of animal habitat, it only seems fair that nature get some of its own back and teach us that there are forces greater than our own.”

Well, James, how’s it going with the rooting for natural disaster, now?

What nasty buggers such as Wolcott and other pseudo-intellectual enviro-nazis are.

There are none so blind…

While I appreciate—no! strongly approve!—of the actions and sentiment of these New Nampshire residents who protested against the UN by burning some UN flags, I cannot but wonder at the irony:

“What I object to about the U.N. is that they try to tell America what to do, and take our tax dollars to do it.”—Russell Kanning

Yeh? And how, really, is that different to fedgov agencies telling people thay can’t build on their own land because there’s a puddle some obscure species of mosquito breeds in? Or (take your pick) any number of the other multitude of meddling measures enacted by congresscritters and expanded on by bureaucrats that are entirely ourside any Constitutional authority? Do they not take our tax dollars and try to tell us what to do with our own lives in ways objectionable to any person who was born free? After all, it’s the fedgov that takes your tax dollars and gives them to Kofi, et al, to use as a bludgeon against us.

Protest the U.N. Sure, that’s fine. Better to protest a government that is willfully exceeding its own legitimate authority, not the least by its support of the U.N.

Hollyweird Computer Illiteracy Equalled Only by Hollyweird Stupidity

Yeh, it’s just one minor example, but multiply it by a daily deluge of Hollyweird malapropisms, sub-literate language, lack of plot contimuity and absence of character development in, um, characters (assuming there are any characters that are more than cardboard cutouts), and it’s a constant source of reason to avoid Hollyweird “entertainment”.

Latest example? Really minor, but irritating nonetheless. I was walking through the TV room and caught for a second by what could have been a moderately interesting plotline: automated service systems (water, traffic control, etc.) corrupted by a virus. Chaos, loss of life ensues.

OK, here’s where things fly off the wall. It’s all apparently the fault of a kid who, during a visit to the office of a bigshot in “the” company responsible for the control hardware/software at question, UPLOADS (from media he carries in with him) a piece of music with a virus embedded.

So? So the guy who’s the bigshot genius head of the company (and, BTW, has difficulty using a mouse and faking keyboard use) confronts the kid and accuses him of DOWNLOADING “something” into his computer (which of course is connected to all the public works platforms throughout the city and the world that use the company’s hardware/software).

Download and upload are different. Seems like the bigshot genius head of the company would know that—except, well, he’s a Hollyweird bigshot genius head of the company, so he’s an idiot.

Oh, yeh, and all the other completely implausible minutiae plopped into the thing so that within 2 mins, I was singing to myself “Bored now, bored now, nored now… ” and up and gone.

[yawn!]

If tghe writers, producers and director (not to mention the actors and all the crew) had two brain cells to rub together among them all, it could have been an interesting plot.

But then it would not have been typical Hollyweird.

No, that is NOT me on the escalator. I don’t work out that much…