Tag: stupid is as stupid does

The Alliance of Free Blogs has its weekly PGHA list up. Worth some surfing…

Check out the Fantasy Headlines for 2006 here. Oh, and be sure and catch this guy’s fantasy headlines while you’re at it. (Yeh. Shameless plug.)

Howard Dean says the Republikan party is made up of white folks who’ve never held down an honest job

Monsieur Zenith the Albino
by Anthony Skene, Michael Moorcock

So, back off, folks, or Dean will bring out the Big Guns. That’s right. He can always cite this Justice League documentary about the evil albino organized crime lord Steven Mandragora.

Now, while there’s no record on file conclusively proving Monsieur Zenith and Steven Mandragora are card-carrying Republikans, it seems self-evident: they are whiter than white and refuse to hold down honest jobs. Q.E.D.—they must be Republikans.

Given this level of logic and solid research, I think we can expect more brilliant observations from Dean in the future. Among future brilliant proclamations from Howard the Duck Dean are:

“George W. Bush is funnelling government funds to the Republikan National Committee by buying slaves it smuggles in from Africa to perform menial tasks in the White House and on his Crawford Ranch.”

“I am an African-american. Yeeaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!”

“America is drowning in red ink because of the Republikans. Only an heroic effort at lifesaving by Teddy Kennedy can save us!”

“Yes, it is true my wife and I have separated due to irreconcilable differences. On the other hand, Oprah has agreed to both become my wife and to be my running mate in the 2008 presidential race.”

This has been a Precision Guided Humor Assignment.

(Mostly crossposted at Cathouse Chat)

And yeh, I fixed the central problem with this post (I hadn’t actually read the assignment… :-).

(Fav posts of the past will see the light of day once a week or so)

America’s Third World Countyâ„¢… quasi-lbertarian (small “l”) and completely “Your business ends where my nose begins, bubba”

You read the card right. it says, “We clean meth houses… ”

A business that’s apparently been bringing clean meth houses to America’s Third World Countyâ„¢ since, oh, about 2004 or so, if it’s any of your business, which it isn’t…

(originally posted 03-07-05)

Now this is an honor I do not deserve

Now that Jean Fraud sKerry’s Yale record has been partially released, Ann Althouse has a movie suggestion for folks who were impressed by his brilliance…

Now that’s just piling on. Go, Ann!

(Actually, this is “piling on.” heh)

Found at Guppyman’s Rant Zone (no, really, I swear that’s the name!)

That frog. Yep, that one…

Several months ago, Neal Boortz floated three questions he’d like to see as voter qualifiers…

As a means of correcting the sad, sad situation of voters too stupid to be able to mark their ballots correctly, I’m all for Neal Boortz’ idea of asking three qualifying questions before allowing a person to vote in a national election. Legitimate questions like

“Who is the vice president?”
“Who is your congressman?” and
“Who are your two senators?”

Would seem appropriate. Folks who could not answer all three would still be allowed, under Boortz’ proposal, to “vote” but they’d be directed to machines that sent their votes directly to a trash bin.

Oh, I’d like to have a few other questions thrown in, like

“Is there a transfinite number between that of a denumerable set and the numbers of the continuum? If so, provide two examples.”

or

“Construct generalizations of the reciprocity theorem of number theory. Show your work.”

…but those sorts of questions should only be asked of the inhabitants of Smartland, who all arrogantly assert they are infinitely smarter than those of us in Flyover Jesusland…

Oops. Beginning to feel the ole curmudgeonly mood creep in. Backing away slowly…

(Yeh, I’m having a hard time turning up the original Boortz article where he made the suggestion. It’ll come to me—or one of you guys’ll give me the link in comments.)

THANKS, Diane! That was the article I was thinking of! (I’ve updated the post above to reflect the link Diane thoughtfully provided.)

Cao did me the very good turn of linking to Crosses aCross America—Thanks, Cao!

Take up the torch. Hold high the flame of your faith. Clearly and unapologetically proclaim your religious beliefs, regardless of pressures from LLMB and MMPA to remove all such expressions from public view. Put crosses on your lawn or home. Stars of David. Whatever symbol proclaims your true faith.

OK, for some of you that will be a picture of Franklin on a $100 bill. That’s fine, as long as it is honest. (We’ll talk later. 🙂 It’s your right to do so.

Oh, and while you are at it—putting up symbols—better make darn sure your lifestyle affirms what those symbols stand for…

Here comes another one… gee, gals, leave some room in the blogosphere for us dimwitted bubbas, would ya? 🙂

Get ’em while they’re hot!