Category: I do these sorts of things so you don’t have to

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Quick Fix for “Cold Coffee Syndrome” ;-)

Sometimes, when I have yet to reach Optimal Coffee Levels, I set my mug down and. . . forget to sip The Holy Brew while it is at the proper temp. I used to keep an electric cup warmer on my desk for those times when my mind wandered, but my last use of such a thing was ~20 years ago, so. . .

REALY effective “silver bullet” thermos that holds a coupla mugs full of coffee. Pour some into a teensy lil eleven ounce cup and sip. Even if my mind wanders to something task-oriented and I let it cool, it’s usually only a coupla ounces that are cool and easily warmed up to nearly optimal temp with a refreshing from the thermos.

I know, I know: it’d be better to just practice better coffee/memory discipline. *shrugs* Lazy, I guess.

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Off the Left Field Wall

I hate allergies. A sneeze-cough while eating some delicious red beans and rice seasoned with freshly chopped habanero pepper. You got it. Habanero pepper bits caught in sinuses. *sigh* Grateful fir ready-mixed, lightly-pressurized nasal wash. *heh*

(BTW, the pressurized air-fryer/instapot did a great job with all elements of the red “beans and rice”–from caramelizing onions, to sauteeing the “polish” sausage, to bringing it all together on a “stew” setting–rice previously cooked, and I used canned red beans).

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Sometimes, it’s the little things, ya know?

*smh* at an otherwise quite competent writer who committed two wrongs in a recent work: consistently misusing “surly” when meaning “surEly” and failing to hire a competent proofreader (or editor). Apart from that consistent error, this particular piece is actually pretty good. Still. . . it’s little things like this that irk–sometimes more than major gaffs.

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“Dr Muerte’s Panacea for Pain”

Picked up some kind of contact rash in the last day or so. Despite observing pretty good hygiene with handwashing, etc. (including having worn nitrile gloves), I seem to have spread it to. . . rather uncomfy areas. So, tried an astringent product from FAK to alleviate itching. It works, but kinda like after stubbing one’s toe and asking “Dr. Muerte” for pain relief, getting a punch in the nose. I don’t really notice the itching now that everything is BURNING.

*heh*

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body” (and other convenient lies. 😉 ).

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More “News” in category: “Inventions for the Lazy, Stupid, and Incompetent”

Special lil pot holders to fit over the handles of pans, because using an ordinary pot holder is tooooo haaarrrd!

As a special invention for stupid, incompetent, and lazy people, it’s right on up there with special lil tools for cracking eggs and special-deshul tools to prevent “onion tears.”

These kinds of things are for people who were voted off the short bus for being too stupid.

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Flawed Test

Our state’s mandated standardized test for school kids is called the MAP Test. I submit that it is fatally flawed. As far as I can determine, there are NO orienteering questions on the test at all.

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A “Legendary Creatures Alphabet”

Herewith, my alphabet of legendary creatures

A is for Acephali (which may, instead of being mythical, refer to ~90% of the electorate, Mass MEdia Podpeople, Politicians, Academia Nut Fruitcakes, etc.)
B is for Baba Yaga (A.K.A. “Nancy Pelosi” and her ilk)
C is for Centaur (There are some in Congress, but they’re deformed horses’ asses.)
D is for Dipsa (easily recognized as Venomous Talking Heads) Note: D is also for Draugr (A Dhimmicrap voting block; see also: Fetch)
E is for Ewah (Actually found in suburbia, preying on young men)
F is for Fetch (See Dragur)
G is for Ghost (As in “The Republic is a mere ghost of what the Founders left us.”)
H is for Hag (see Baba Yaga above)
I is for Imp (Often found in any government bureaucracy)
J is for Jackalope (Livestock designed by congressional committee to combat hunger)
K is for Kawa-zaru (Frequently found working for congresscritters)
L is for Lamia (Commonly found in “Planned Parenthood” facilities)
M is for Maha-pudma (Found living rent free in the heads of Flat Earters)
N is for Nariphon (A species of Acephali found in “news” organizations; this version of podperson identifies as female)
O is for Ogre (Commonly found working as TSA thug)
P is for Panes (Large numbers of this creature found in Hollyweird)
Q is for Qliphoth (Evil spirit inhabiting Type II Bureaucraps)
R is for Redcap (Law enFARCEment Ossifers) Also Revenant (Dhimmicrap voting block)
S is for Sarugami (Congressional aides; lobbyists)
T is for Talos (“Feddle Gummint” version is brass, not bronze, and has feet of clay; also, cost overruns triple the price paid)
U is for Undead (See Dhimmicrap voting block)
V is for Vampire (Congresscritters, “feddle gummint bureaucraps,” etc.)
W is for Warg (Poorly-trained K-9 “units”)
X is for Xing Tiang (Government. Just “government”)
Y is for Yakubyo-gami (Found in most hospitals; responsible for “iatrogenic” diseases and deaths)
Z is for Zombie (Typical Dhimmicrap voter)

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*slow sidescan*

When someone accuses you of being paranoid, it’s probably because they are out to get you. *heh*