*smh* at an otherwise quite competent writer who committed two wrongs in a recent work: consistently misusing “surly” when meaning “surEly” and failing to hire a competent proofreader (or editor). Apart from that consistent error, this particular piece is actually pretty good. Still. . . it’s little things like this that irk–sometimes more than major gaffs.
“Dr Muerte’s Panacea for Pain”
Picked up some kind of contact rash in the last day or so. Despite observing pretty good hygiene with handwashing, etc. (including having worn nitrile gloves), I seem to have spread it to. . . rather uncomfy areas. So, tried an astringent product from FAK to alleviate itching. It works, but kinda like after stubbing one’s toe and asking “Dr. Muerte” for pain relief, getting a punch in the nose. I don’t really notice the itching now that everything is BURNING.
*heh*
“Pain is just weakness leaving the body” (and other convenient lies. 😉 ).
More “News” in category: “Inventions for the Lazy, Stupid, and Incompetent”
Special lil pot holders to fit over the handles of pans, because using an ordinary pot holder is tooooo haaarrrd!
As a special invention for stupid, incompetent, and lazy people, it’s right on up there with special lil tools for cracking eggs and special-deshul tools to prevent “onion tears.”
These kinds of things are for people who were voted off the short bus for being too stupid.
Flawed Test
Our state’s mandated standardized test for school kids is called the MAP Test. I submit that it is fatally flawed. As far as I can determine, there are NO orienteering questions on the test at all.
A “Legendary Creatures Alphabet”
Herewith, my alphabet of legendary creatures
A is for Acephali (which may, instead of being mythical, refer to ~90% of the electorate, Mass MEdia Podpeople, Politicians, Academia Nut Fruitcakes, etc.)
B is for Baba Yaga (A.K.A. “Nancy Pelosi” and her ilk)
C is for Centaur (There are some in Congress, but they’re deformed horses’ asses.)
D is for Dipsa (easily recognized as Venomous Talking Heads) Note: D is also for Draugr (A Dhimmicrap voting block; see also: Fetch)
E is for Ewah (Actually found in suburbia, preying on young men)
F is for Fetch (See Dragur)
G is for Ghost (As in “The Republic is a mere ghost of what the Founders left us.”)
H is for Hag (see Baba Yaga above)
I is for Imp (Often found in any government bureaucracy)
J is for Jackalope (Livestock designed by congressional committee to combat hunger)
K is for Kawa-zaru (Frequently found working for congresscritters)
L is for Lamia (Commonly found in “Planned Parenthood” facilities)
M is for Maha-pudma (Found living rent free in the heads of Flat Earters)
N is for Nariphon (A species of Acephali found in “news” organizations; this version of podperson identifies as female)
O is for Ogre (Commonly found working as TSA thug)
P is for Panes (Large numbers of this creature found in Hollyweird)
Q is for Qliphoth (Evil spirit inhabiting Type II Bureaucraps)
R is for Redcap (Law enFARCEment Ossifers) Also Revenant (Dhimmicrap voting block)
S is for Sarugami (Congressional aides; lobbyists)
T is for Talos (“Feddle Gummint” version is brass, not bronze, and has feet of clay; also, cost overruns triple the price paid)
U is for Undead (See Dhimmicrap voting block)
V is for Vampire (Congresscritters, “feddle gummint bureaucraps,” etc.)
W is for Warg (Poorly-trained K-9 “units”)
X is for Xing Tiang (Government. Just “government”)
Y is for Yakubyo-gami (Found in most hospitals; responsible for “iatrogenic” diseases and deaths)
Z is for Zombie (Typical Dhimmicrap voter)
*slow sidescan*
When someone accuses you of being paranoid, it’s probably because they are out to get you. *heh*
“Selfies”
The “selfie” phenomenon generally gives me a rash. Nevertheless, here’s my most recent self-portrait. Methinks it doest have a certain je ne sais quoi, non?
Now, off to apply some Budreaux’s Butt Paste for the rash. . .
Slow Boat from China
So, ordered an external enclosure for a laptop optical drive from an Amazon retailer knowing full well it would come by “slow boat from China,” since it wasn’t a critical piece of equipment and not needed tout de suite. Eventually, it arrived. Again, no problems with the six week delivery time, since I ordered it with an expectation that delivery would be glacially slow.
But.
It was neither as described in the product description nor as pictured on the product display. It was missing the ONE essential element that allows using a laptop optical drive as an external, portable drive: an interface card. The card was neither built into the enclosure nor flopping around loose in the box. I had a plastic box, a couple of short USB cables, and a faceplate. Useless, except perhaps for target practice.
Corresponded with the seller. Seller wanted pictures of what was missing from the box. Yes, that is indeed what was stated.
*head-desk*
After several emails back and forth (and a complete unboxing sequence sent, along with copies of the text and pictures from the product page for comparison), the company offered to “make me whole” by refunding all but $0.44 of what I paid them for the trash they sent me to dispose of for them.
*sigh*
But at least they didn’t ask me to send their trash back to them.
Still, one strike and the seller is OUT. I’ll never buy from this seller again. Seller “TOOGOO”? “Disrecommended”
Choice
Old age is the only legitimate way to commit suicide. All other ways are for cowards.
I Don’t. . .
. . .talk about how humble I am very often. . .
Go ahead, y’all. talk among yourselves, then.
?