Category: Dumbasses

Posted on

Isn’t That Special

Another one for the “The Book Blurbs are Better Than the Book Could POSSIBLY Be” file (and a evidence of one of the reasons many new writers shouldn’t. Write, that is.):

“To beat a depraved serial killer, [Xxxx] may need to think like one. . . ”

Thanks for letting me know the book’s not worth reading (*meh* I’d rather read about a cereal killer, whether it be a bug, fungus, or rodent), but at least reading the blurb gave me the entertaining moment considering the differences between a depraved serial killer and all the normal, run-of-the-mill serial killers.

Posted on

*Throws a Bullshit Flag on the Play*

Seen [at an undisclosed Internet location], stated by a person claiming to be a Bible-believing Christian:

“My job is NOT to ‘stop Hillary’ or to “StopTrump.’ My job is to lovingly trust and obey my Savior. He gave us very specific vetting lists for consideration when choosing candidates for leadership of a nation.”

I’d like to have the scripture citations where Christ noted the qualifications for “candidates for leading a nation,” please. TY. I do recall the scripture where he told some folks to “render unto Caesar [a pagan with questionable morals by biblical standards] that which is Caesar’s,” but cannot seem to put my finger on his “vetting lists” for candidates to be voted into civil office. . .

And no, I will not accept the parameters set down by which Saul was chosen as king of Israel (against God’s wishes, but he gave ’em what they wanted. Didn’t THAT turn out well. . . )

The comment specifically cites “vetting lists for candidates” set forth by “my Savior”–very specific vetting lists WHICH DO NOT EXIST.

I do very much hope the person who made this asinine statement gets lost on the way to the polling place this November.

Posted on

“Based on a True Story”

Whenever I see “based on a true story” hitched to any sort of media presentation, I understand that the “based” part simply means, “Something happened. One or more elements of what happened may appear in the following presentation. . . or may not.”

Of course, this makes such media presentations “truer” than a typical “news” story, so there’s that. . .

Posted on

Twigging to Dunning-Krugerites

Another trait that exposes those who want others to suffer for their self-inflicted Dunning-Kruger Effect is claiming status they obviously cannot qualify for.

Example:

Every now and then, I see a self-pub book cover with “Author So-and-so”. Invariably, at least so far, such books have proven to be unreadable well within the first page of text. Sometimes the first paragraph or the first sentence or even the dedication (if one exists) is so badly written that I almost feel a wee bit of pity for the po’ baby that refers to himself (or herself) as “Author So-and-so,” because the chance that such folk will ever even become moderately competent wordsmiths is somewhere zero and -1,000–and that’s often an optimistic estimation.

Sad. I just wanna know who encouraged them to write without becoming at least literate enough to be fluent in English.

Oh, another clue to incompetent self-pub writers is that they frequently include a forward or dedication that makes much of the extensive editing their “work” has undergone. Almost invariably, that indicates that the book is FULL of misused words, indicating that both the writer and any editors are the next thing to illiterate, inexcusably execrable grammar (in narrative, not even dialog), unbelievable continuity errors, etc.

And they (and their so-called “editors”) never see all the “Oopsies” because they are not really literate enough to know the differences. Not one of them.

And yet they think of themselves as and proudly proclaim themselves to be “authors”.

Posted on

SPAM “Success!”

From a “Free English Tutorial” site, this SPAM comment caught my eye:

“English language has grow to be a prerequisite for pretty much something that we do, from applying your favorite social networking web sites like Twitter and Facebook and generally working with the internet to applying for strong jobs. We all know how a great deal a second language can enhance our careers”

Yeh, about that English language tutorial thingy. . . Tutoring folks to speak/write at the (illiterate) level of most Mass Media Podpeople or 20-something aspiring self-pup writers isn’t necessarily a success track, IYNWIMAITTYD.

Pro tip: don’t give up your day job digging ditches.

Posted on

“Helicopter Nanny State” Wants All Parents to be “Helicopter Parents”

“Don’t Leave Your Kids Near Judgmental Strangers” highlights once again the evils of “No Child Alone–EVER!” societal/judicial constructs.

Frankly, I think parents who are unjustly harassed by nosy parker buttinskis should go on the offensive and sue ’em (defamation? Something like that), demanding p-sych evaluations, background checks, and more. Put the (steel-toed, spike-soled) shoe on the other foot. . . and give ’em a really swift, hard kick in the “fundamentals” with it.

Repeatedly. Until, they go away and stay away.

Posted on

Stupid Book Blurbs (for Stupid Books?) Level: Grandmaster

Here’s one that starts badly with the first word and goes downhill from there.

“Shalthazar the dark wizard came to Llars seeking power beyond imagining, and got more than he ever imagined.”

*doh*

I’m almost sorry I missed this book. (But, I wasn’t really aiming, anyway.)

I’m also unimpressed by blurbs that mention an “affirmative action” award–you know, one reserved for some ethnicity or whatever “disadvantaged” multi-culti “lit-ur-airy” Balkan state group author who can’t write well enough to win a legitimate award.

Oh, heck. ANY award not decided strictly by everyday, ordinary readers of the book is bogus. In that vein, book awards should be based on (actual, real, legitimate) sales, and, in fact, the only awards that really count are those that go into the writer’s pocket.

Posted on

A Brief Comment About the Use of “Grammar Nazi”

“Grammar Nazi” is a term widely misused by folks on the Internet to refer to anyone who takes umbrage at illiterate abuse of language. It is a term of derision mean to the shield the user’s ego, usually after their own subliterate (or downright illiterate) abuse of English. Seriously insecure people are “offended” by others’ abuse of English being corrected.

Grammar~Syntax?Structure, logic, reason, all affecting the clear transmission of meaning. The more “noise” in the transmission, the shallower and less meaningful the transmission.

Phonemes (and their analogs in print) are just noise absent syntax and semantics.

Syntax: structure (99% of grammar). Affects semantics.

Semantics: meaning–the transmission of which is the sole justification for language.

“Now there abide these three: phonemes, syntax, and semantics; and the greatest of these is semantics.”

Where phonemes (and their analogs in print) are poorly transmitted (poor pronunciation or poor spelling), meaning is less well transmitted. Where syntax is garbled (spoken or in text) meaning is less well transmitted.

If these are important when speaking or writing in a “foreign” language (and they most CERTAINLY are!), then they are just as important when speaking one’s own, “native,” language.

Nazism does not apply, since fascist socialism has no place in any of these things.