Category: Dumbasses

Posted on

It’s the Little Things #8,492

#sigh

*heh*

OK, now that that is out of my system. . .

Some of the absolutely stupid things some writers do baffle me, but at least I have found a way to be amused by them.

Recent “Dan Brown wannabe” book where the writer apparently felt even less desire to get anything right about any of his premises than Brown typically does went Brown even further by finding… unique ways to misuse plain English ( for example, misused “infallible” when groping for “unflappable”), have an “expert pilot” grab the “steering column”. . . on a helicopter whose propellers were making enough noise to keep the writer from thinking, “Maybe I ought to do my homework on helicopters before making a fool of myself in print.”

Hilarious.

Another? How about a fun-filled romp through a zombie apocalypse book filled with things like super-competent, manly-man hero filling up a late-model vehicle with gas and then “topping it off” after the pump clicks off. “Manly-men” know that can harm the vehicle’s evap system, cause the vehicle to run poorly, and even lead to hard starting or failure to start. In today’s world, it’s an easy fix (though sometimes complicated) to repair an evap system. . . IF one can narrow down the part or parts damaged by topping off, and costs can range from $10-$200, depending on several factors. In a zombie apocalypse scenario, having to repair the evap system on one’s go-to vehicle is sub-optimal.

But that’s OK, cos the book was chock full of this kind of stupid stuff, so reading it as a farce (OK, OK, skimming it, cos it wasn’t really worth reading *heh*) was. . . OK.

The problem with all these hilariously stupid books–not bad or “suckitudinous” books, just stupidly executed–is that the errors of logic, fact, grammar, punctuation, and usage they embody are just reinforced in whatever uncritical readers glom onto them. *sigh* There were once literate editorial staffs at tradpub houses to correct some of these problems, but even there, the quality of literacy in tradpub editorial staffs has waned.

Oh, well. At least I can laugh at and mock such things, and such amusement is worth something as the world generally goes to hell in a handbasket.

Posted on

At Least THIS Illiterate Practice Is Still Deprecated

The occurrence of “try and [verb]” as against the correct “try to [verb]” in print in general is still minimal. Unfortunately, the #gagamaggot misuse of “and” still seems to be very common in (typically) very poorly edited self-pub text and in social media, etc., all over the increasingly “mass man”-dominated1 Internet.

Social democracy sometimes sucks.

Do note that I have no objection to the use of “try and” when it is genuinely appropriate and adds meaning. For example,

“Two Judges Try and Fail to Shut Down Union Strike” in a headline is OK, though in a sentence in the body of a text it would be better-written as, “Two judges try–and fail–to shut down union strike,” or, slightly less clear, “Two judges try, and fail, to shut down union strike.”

Or,

“It’s better to try, and regret, than not to try, and regret.”

In neither of the cases above would “try to” convey the meaning intended, but cases like this are rare compared to misuses of “try and” where “try to” is appropriate. Sadly, the colloquial misuse of “try and” contributes to a poorer language rather than enhancing English.

1See Ortega.

Posted on

Down with Dysgraphia!

*sigh*

I have become convinced that, despite enabling many fine writers to become successful authors, self-publishing/”Indie publishing” has had an overall negative effect on the quality of text available. The sheer number of aspiring writers afflicting readers with their dysgraphia is appalling. *sigh* Oh, well, at least writing reviews on Amazon encouraging such dysgraphics to just PLEASE JUST STOP IT offer some slight ability to ameliorate the problem. Slight.

For MUCH less than the tip of the iceberg upon which contemporary lazy, subliterate, self-made dysgraphics sink their “great works,” start with:

Commonly misused words and phrases

Of course, a simple search for such things will turn up many, many more such lists, but that’s a start. And,of course, such lists don’t even scratch the surface of grammar that would gag a maggot, stupid misuses of tenses (quite apart from more ordinary grammar errors; for example, an understanding of past perfect and past conditional tenses seem to be dead, dead, dead *sigh*), and on and on and. . .

Posted on

Leaving a Legacy

“Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do!” ~ Groucho Marx.

Well, even in this life, I don’t plan on dying being the last thing I “do.” I plan to rig the “urn” (a coffee can, of course) designated for my cremains to prank the person who opens it to dump my ashes in. THAT’S the last thing I’ll do. . . from beyond the “fiery trial.” Well, unless someone in my family spoils the surprise. . . I probably need to have some backup pranks set up, just in case. Maybe I can stretch my “presence” out a few years that way. 😉 Kinda leave an active legacy, ya know.

This olde pharte needs to get busy. . .

Continue reading “Leaving a Legacy”

Posted on

Matters of Principle or just Irrational Overconfidence?

I have ceased being shocked at the *cough* “deep thinkers” *cough* who share their “thoughts” in various print and eprint media whose “deep thoughts” are too deep to allow mundane things like spell checkers, and whose “literacy” extends only to what they have heard (and dependably misunderstood) others say.

It’s as though being stuck on a wad of gum at the far lefthand side of the Dunning-Kruger Curve is a matter of idiotic pride for them. Yeh, it’s a principle. #gagamaggot

Continue reading “Matters of Principle or just Irrational Overconfidence?”

Posted on

Asked and Answered. Move on.

I wear a scanable medalert bracelet with online med info that includes my allergies. Listed FIRST under “allergies” is my serious adverse reaction to being asked the same question more than once. When asked the same question a second (or third or. . . ) time, I tend to answer, “Asked and answered,” and let ’em look it up. I have no patience with lazy, arrogant, insulting asshats with nothing better to do than waste my time.

I answer cops the same way when asked the same question more than once: “Asked and answered. Move on.” (Last time I did so it was the local chief of police. He had illegitimately stopped me for a traffic infraction I had not committed. I don’t take their crap. I declined his offer of a ticket and moved him along. Seriously. Coincidentally, he resigned two weeks later. . . Yeh, seriously.)

I am too old to take crap from anyone. Period.

Forget “civil disobedience.” Such disrespectful behavior from people who think of themselves as authorities calls for less than civil disobedience. Outright disrespect returned for disrespect from people who are NOT one’s “betters.”

But maybe that’s just me. And maybe I should work on that. . . but I doubt I will.

Posted on

No, It’s “Warm Kitty, Soft Kitty”

My only problem with the shirt is that it’s based on the “Big Bang Theory” corruption of the copyrighted song by Edith Newlin, which is an adaptation of a Polish folk song, “Wlaz kotek na plotek.” Some not-so-smart writer, writing characters supposed to be smarter than he is (or some stupid lawyer thinking to avoid paying royalties?) screwed up the lyrics and mis-taught a generation of the less-than-literate.

And, of course, Newlin’s lyrics ordering the adjectives as first “warm” then “soft” follow the adjective order “rule” that any literate person simply knows from having read a lot of text written by literate writers:

Quantity, Value/opinion, Size, Temperature [warm], Age, Shape, Colour, Origin, Material [soft]

Hence, to any moderately well-read person (or person who is simply fluent in well-spoken English), Newlin’s “Warm kitty, soft kitty does not grate the way the “Big Bang Theory’s” corruption of her lyrics do. . . in a way that makes the characters who use the BBT’s corruption sound “Dumber than the average 5th grader.”

But apart from that I like the shirt. Oh, and Big Bang Theory’s not a bad show, apart from its laughable depiction of “smarter than the writers” characters. In fact, that alone sometimes makes it worth viewing for laughs.

Posted on

Sloppy Thinking

For many years I have heard Donne dunning my ears, but his catchy lil blank verse really borders on stupidity, though it does have bearing on so many folks’ hyper-engagement in “news” reporting of current events (see above reference to “stupidity”).

‘No Man is an Island’

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man’s death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Pardon me while I both gag and throw the bullshit flag. Sure, in some theoretical way, the death of someone I do not know and never would have known “diminishes” me, but in reality? If someone dies and they are not at least a close acquaintance, I have no connection to them, and their death is something for their friends, family, and close acquaintances to be impacted by, not me.

Folks who get all “het up” over events that happen to others they have never even met are just borrowing troubles not their own and filling their lives with fake emotions. It’s the same sort of unhealthy behavior as being devoted to a professional sports team or idolizing some entertainer.

It’s stupid.

BTW, Donne’s death in no way impacted my life. I never knew him (of course) and I really DGARA when or how he died. His life impacted me mainly through my irritation at his stupid verse reproduced here. I would not have been “diminished” one whit had he never written this drivel.

Posted on

The “Detroit” of US Territories

Puerto Rico is broken. It’s the US’s “corruptocratic third world county” territory.

Of course, a large part of the infrastructure issues resulted from years of neglect and graft (“repairs” and “maintenance” that have been more graft than actually effective maintenance and repairs to previous damage) resulting from “well-intentioned” leftist kakistocrats who, very naturally, have seen most of the benefits of decades of “feddle gummint” paternalism.

Puerto Rico is broken.. . and broke. It’s a look at the future of “Left Coast” Kalifornication” and has only missed being America’s Venezuela by means of sucking funds from the mainland.

Puerto Rico has wonderful natural resources and a people who are not afraid of working (as those who have worked on the “mainland” have demonstrated for decades). It’s not quite the “beggar sitting on a gold mine,” as the one-time reference to Mexico’s natural wealth once put it, but it is choked by bad governance.

The feds “broke” Puerto Rico, and now we own it. . .

Posted on

Good Sense Is Really Easy. Mocking Good sense Is Easier.

For years you have probably seen and heard folks mock “Duck and Cover” as a stupid response to a nuclear attack. Yeh, mocking good advice is really easy to do.

What? “Duck and Cover” is good advice?

Yep. But it takes someone who’s willing to stop, do their own homework, and actually think to recognize that, which is why I won’t do your homework and thinking for you.

I will say that Dean Ing’s fictional account of surviving a nuclear attack in Pulling Through (also here) might be one of the easiest pills to swallow to combat the infection of stupid mockery from those who have NOT done their own homework and who cannot (or will not) think.

Meanwhile,

Duck and Cover