Have I discovered the purpose of SPAM?

Everything that is must have some sort of raison d’être, mustn’t it? Otherwise, what’s the point? Now, it doesn’t have to be a good purpose or even a notably sensible one, but everything MUST have some sort of reason for its existence.

I think I may have discovered the raison d’être for SPAM. Consider for a moment: how many people are going to be positively influenced by unasked for email or blog comments/tbs clogging inboxes (or moderation queues) touting pr0n, “male enhancement” products, get rich quick schemes, Nigerian bank accounts or any of the other dumbass pitches?

OK, we know from the evidence that there are plenty of folks who are dumber than a bag of hammers, cos SPAMmers wouldn’t keep on spending their money, time and other resources sending out such massive floods of junk for no return at all, now would they? So maybe that is the most obvious reason for SPAM: there are enough genuinely stupid people—as in fewer active brain cells than a head of cabbage—to keep SPAMmers awash in the cash they suck from such idiots.

But is there a higher purpose that SPAM serves (I mean besides the lofty purpose of royally pi$$ing me off–a worthy end in and of itself, some might say)?

Well, yes, of course there is. I refer you to my previous comment about SPAMmers sucking $$ off stupid people and my post earlier today about how stupidity ought to exact a price. The more $$ SPAMmers (or any scammers for that matter) can suck off stupid people, the less stupid people have to spend. In a best case scenario, this could result in some stupid people not having enough $$ left for their grocery bill, and being really stupid, they might, just might, be too stupid to find someone to rescue them.

With any luck at all, SPAMmers could be helping stupid people kill themselves off.

But that’s stretching our luck a lil too far, I fear.

*sigh*

Oh, well. For a brief instant there, I thought I was onto something…

Asking Ferdy for comment

5 Replies to “Have I discovered the purpose of SPAM?”

  1. hmm…interesting theory. Sadly, I think anyone capable of being “naturally selected out” by SPAM was probably splashing about in the shallow end of the gene pool anyway…but then, might as well clean the pool from the shallow end…

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  3. Yeh, yeh, I have to confess that the latter part of the post is almost pure dreamin’… If only…

    😉

    OTOH, I installed an “insult generator” on my Palm today for those times when I don’t feel like troubling myself to attempt to get through to an idiot. This way, I can just beam a trite insult to their Palm (if they have one) or use it. Trite, stale, lame insults: just the thing that’s needed to communicate with stupid people on their level.

  4. Sigh..lofty purpose eh?..ah yes to test our patience and
    perseverance my friend…and er…to help us with our ANGER
    management when we find a good friend stuck in the spam
    que with 145 ads for tram-adol!!!

  5. Does this mean if I reply, I’m not really going to receive that million dollars I’ve been told I’ll get about thirty times so far this week? Oh the horror!

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