Why? It Does Not Matter. . .

. . .why it crosses the road.

On one of our trips to OK for family stuff, we had a quick refresher on what “rural OK town” means. During passage through town, which entailed negotiating a couple of (completely unnecessary, as far as I could tell) traffic lights, traffic (such as it was–our car and another) came to a halt as a chicken made its lackadaisically wandering way across main street in the lil county seat town. No hurries. Apparently traffic (such as it may be) ALWAYS comes to a complete stop whenever the chicken crosses the road. . .

No Names (In Order to “Shield” the Guilty)

. . .but either someone(s?) in the turnpike authority of a certain state (again, no names, but the relevant initials are O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A) has a macabre sense of humor, or the turnpike authority needs a literate adult on staff, because signs in construction zones read:

“Don’t hit our workers
Pay $10,000 fine”

I tell ya, I don’t have the $10,000 to spare. I started thinking I should look for a worker to hit so I could avoid the fine. . . *heh*

“Teach Your Children Well. . . “

Lovely Daughter commented today after Mother’s funeral, graveside service, and the funeral dinner at the church (at which neither she not I found anything to eat, though there was some palatable–just!–coffee) regarding my (successful!) efforts when she was a small girl (a talkative three year old? About that) to teach her to say to my mom, “Grandma, please take me to Chik-Fil-A.”

So, in honor of her grandmother, she had her lunch at. . . Chik-Fil-A.

🙂

The Proper Use of a “Splainsit Stick”

Any time I see “[Whatever]-splaining” used by someone to dismiss an argument, I know the person using the term is really saying, “I don’t have an argument, and I just don’t want to listen, so I’ll use this nonsense term instead of putting my fingers in my ears and chanting, ‘la-la-la-la. . .’ and maybe the horrible person using facts and reason will just go away and leave me with my chosen, ignorant opinions.”

At that point, I realize that the only proper response is raucous mocking.

And that, dear reader, is how one uses a “Splainsit Stick.”

Santa Claus?

He’s always been a little hinky, but the “naughty-nice” list is an invasion of privacy that even the NSA would quail at.

As I recall it, when I was six, it was a relief when my eight-year-old sister explained that Santa Claus wasn’t real. Oh, I uttered the obligatory defenses, as I recall it, but I’d had my suspicions. . .

“Gunsplaining,” “Mansplaining,” and Other Lame Excuses for Ignorance

Any time I see “[Whatever]-splaining” used by someone to dismiss an argument, I know the person using the term is really saying, “I don’t have an argument, and I just don’t want to listen, so I’ll use this nonsense term instead of putting my fingers in my ears and chanting, ‘na-na-na-na. . .’ and maybe the horrible person using facts and reason will just go away and leave me with my chosen, ignorant opinions.”

At that point, I realize that the only proper response is raucous mocking.