Category: Blame it on the voices in my head–I do

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Things That Baffle Me

Here’s one: For years–decades–I have found the sound effect “footsteps” of people in movies and TV shows distracting. Effects people seem to make one person sound like a thundering herd competing with a massive storm and a traffic jam for a “Noisiest” award. IOW, I have a hard time processing stomping, clacking noisemaking with normal footsteps, and it drops suspension of disbelief into a deep, dark hole it just can’t easily climb out of.

*shrugs*

My Wonder Woman has accused me for years of sneaking up on her, but I just walk normally–for me–and it seems to her like I just suddenly appear. Yeh, I don’t get it. Had a guy living upstairs from my off-campus apartment when I was in college who stomped around. He moved out very shortly after I “schooled” him one evening on walking less like a baby elephant in lead shoes. I dunno why. ?

Oh, well.

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Book Hoarder

So, yeh, I hardly ever let go of a book I own. Have more hardcopy books now than I have shelving for. It’s a problem. Ebooks to the rescue? Well, sorta. First, not long after it was up and running, I requested a CD of all the books Gutenberg-dot-org had at the time. Offloaded those text files to other storage, stored the CD and had LOTS of reading to do.

Not enough, though.

When downloads from Gutenberg became available, I began regular searches for ebook duplicates of my most significant hardcopy books, other books I wanted to read but had not yet obtained, etc. About that time, Baen-dot-com lsted its free library of sci-fi books. I’ve been a sci-fi reader since third grade, so. . . Got ’em all (and read ’em, and updated as new freebies became available). Then I started also buying eARCs from Baen in their bundles of six or more eARCs for $18. Then buying others at list prices. (Crafty, crafty Baen: sucked me in all right!). Then I just started looking for freebie ebooks in general. Found military manuals, preparedness books, all kinds of how-to and craft books, history, theology, math, science, etc., all over the web, oh, and and free books from Amazon, as well.

I am now behind on my reading quite a bit. I have also been storing all ebooks in multiple formats (when available or convertible) on different media on different storage devices, some of which are ALWAYS offline and relatively safe from loss by various means. Different formats, in part, because I enjoyed correcting the text of the eARCs from Baen. . . in the html formats (mobi format is a PITA to edit–for me at least).

So, now my thousands of hardcopy books have much, much more than been surpassed by double in my ebook collection, and I NEED to read faster. . . The more I learn, the more I discover I don’t know. Of course.

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Class: Missed Opportunities

Actually, non-existent, never were opportunities. For example: Ryan Paevey’s voice. I’ve only been peripherally exposed to the actor via my Wonder Woman’s affection for Hallmark TV movies. They guy has a wonderfully rich voice, but. . . good sharkey! What an awful ear! In the cases where one of the shows has been going in the background and I’ve been just enjoying the sound of his voice but. . . the script calls for him to sing. #gagamaggot Not one note on pitch, almost monotonous. Sad. His speaking voice is a joy to just listen to. If his ear were trained along with his voice, he could have a beautiful singing voice, great for an ensemble or even solo work.

But, alas! Apparently no one (or no one who’s competent) has ever taken him in hand and helped him train his voice well.

Just sad. Oh, well.

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Be of Good Cheer

Take heart! Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day.

(Oh, and Condition Yellow, head on a swivel, watch your six, and all that jazz, too.)

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Proposal for a Sane Society

Code duello: we need to bring it back. The trick would be to ensure one is the challenged party, in order to be able to specify the weapons used. There is a range of weapons I would not mind being able to specify, including pillows on one end of the range. “Death by pillow fight” would be a great thing to have put in a deserving fellow’s obituary.

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Why I Sneer When Writers Bloviate About “Sniper Rifles”

Simo Häyhä. Yeh, he used a everyday garden variety M28/30 Mosin-Nagant with iron sights. “Terminally serviced” 500+ Germans during Finland’s defense against the Nazis in WWII.

My Granddaddy’s Model 1895 30-30 was more of a “sniper rifle” than what Simo Häyhä used. ANY rifle is a “sniper rifle” if that’s what it is used for.

Oh, he also carried a Suomi KP/-31 9×19 Parabellum (handgun cartridge) submachine gun for close defense, juuuust in case. Again: not what contemporary writers describe when writing about “sniper rifles.”

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Car Tips Edition

Helpful Hints from Hairy Helpful

  • Handy-Dandy lil Tip: Eschew “power” windows and always have a sharp knife clipped in a handy place and those specialty “automobile escape tools” become redundant, completely unneeded.
  • Power Tip: Don’t trap yourself in a car wreck to begin with. Drive smart and keep your head on a swivel. 😉
  • Pro Tip: Don’t trust cops. There are easily at least as many corrupt cops are there are a$$h*les in the general population. Have TWO (minimum) car cams and use them. (You have–at the very least–a first amendment right to record cops in the performance of their duty. You may not have had  your due process rights infringed on in your location, so you may be able to legally record them at other times, as well.)
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“Once more into the breach. . . “

I blame Pete Townsend and legions of subliterates who have been “misunderedumacated” in “gummint” schools (A.K.A. “prisons for kids”) for the disgusting spread of “alright” in place of the useful and perfectly good “all right.” Yeh, yeh, so James Joyce wrote “alright” ONCE, as against dozens of uses of “all right.” Big deal. Even if Joyce’s usage had been flipped the other way, he wrote Suckitudinous Fiction that only appeals to sophomoric idiots who feign intellectual pursuits. (Yes, I am completely serious in that assertion.)

Heck, eve with Pete Townsend’s endorsement for the stupid, “alright” only gained any traction at all with the advent of massive “democratic” stupidity inflicted on English by “mass-man” (see Ortega) via the Internet. And even with the promulgation of subliterate stupidity via subliterate writing, editing, and self-publishing, one can be thankful the use of “all right” still VASTLY outweighs the deplorable infliction of “alright” on the English language.

So, if you insist on being a Philistine, a nekulturny subliterate (A.K.A. “trailer trash,” etc.), go ahead and use “alright” in private emails where you might be safe doing so, or in a public form where you can be raucously mocked. No skin off my nose either way. But if you (assuming a reader who wants to be a published writer and expects to be paid for wordsmithery) want to avoid a raucous mocking in, say, an Amazon review, get it right, mmmK?